Friday, November 05, 2010

4 years ago

Today is the anniversary of my last big break up. I split from Henry, who was my fiance. The last four years have been difficult to put it in a word, though that doesn't explain why or how, or how different things are now. I'm still really rebuilding my life I guess.

It's sent me into a bit of a wobble really. I was blogging nearly every day at that point, so re-reading the account is hard to do. I still can't learn a lot from it and it seems like this time of year is the moment where I step back at take account of what I've done, who I have surrounded myself with and where I am with God. I wish I knew how to put it all into words, but I only have sounds right now and a sense of wanting to give up.

I always underestimate this time of year. Last year I had a wobble, almost out of nowhere and almost lost someone close to me because of it, the year before was not great either and in 2007 I was decorating my room this weekend with two wonderful friends who are now married.

The next couple of weeks is looking good for being busy and having space to think too. I'm working this weekend, so I've got a day off in the middle of the week. Seeing a good friend too for quite a lot of the time!

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Remember, Remember

It's November and the world is changing, colours are now oranges and yellows, there's a breeze running through the house every time you leave a door open and there's an unmistakelable chill in the air, that won't be gone until mid-May! (I really wanted to say April, but I would be lying) It's that time of year when I lack motivation for wanting to get out of bed too early, though this week I have felt the benefits of early nights and early mornings, happily! I think the clocks going back has helped this a little, but my enthusiasm will soon die, I think!

Once again, we've had a debate about switching the clocks. In the spring, it's because the animals get caught up in traffic when the nights get lighter (and not in t good way) and during the autumn it's all about trading hours for business people, as I understand it. Now I don't normally listen to the news very carefully, but it seems that this time around, in 2010, there have been some lengthy discussions about taking action - do we stick with GMT or BST. The days get longer no matter what the time is, we definitely get more sun in the summer and less in the winter, but the system is so old that it would be too different. And it's not something you can change at half an hour a time, or even by fifteen minutes! I don't know what the solution is, but I know you can't please everyone, so you've got to put up with it. It's not the reason the economy is failingg, if that was really the case, we'd have gone bankrupt a loooooong time ago!

You may or may not know that my sister is married. To Robert, who is an American. He's living here now after what must seem like an age of waiting for my sister. It's been an interesting time, but I'm going to meet him on Saturday and we'll see how things go. Sorry if I caused any alarm with my last post. It was the night before they got married and emotions were running high.