Thursday, August 22, 2013

Day 5 Soul Survivor 2013

Day 5 and I am sitting in the sun, watching the strangest type of cricket I have seen. We have had an awesome week. Highs and lows, mostly, as always, highs.

God has very clearly spoken to me about stepping out in faith and doing more with my time and talents rather than sitting at home doing very little. We're going on a new journey and a challenging one at that. I am taking Ray along with me and he's ready to support me all the way.

It is exciting. It's not scary, because it's a peace of God that is keeping me ready for the battle and the hard work that I am being called to. 

As a group we have a lot of incredible stories of healing, following God and the commitment to begin to do that with whole, healed hearts. Of course, we're still not perfect, so we may fail. But choosing to obey is better than ignoring what is going on around us.

Final service tonight and a trip to a seminar about ordination, so it all should be interesting. Hoping for a good time packing down tomorrow!

Monday, August 19, 2013

Soul survivor 2013!

Day two at Soul Survivor. I have, in my nostalgia, already been through it a bit this week. We are singing a song this week that has already spoken to me about what my life is like with God.

"I turned around and you were there."

In all my life, I have walked away and turned back to see God there, to see that I am loved, cherished and no matter what has happened in the past, God has got it sorted.

I firmly believe that God has already spoken this week, and we have only had two meetings.

We're following John's gospel, the beginning of Jesus ministry. We've already had the wedding at Canaan and this morning, we were talking about Kairos and Kronos. Tick tock time and time with God, where you don't know how long you have spend with Him. 

It is really interesting to hear the teaching and the worship and I am hoping that the young people around me will learn something new about the power of God.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Anniversaries

I am the sort of person who loves a celebration, I like to remember things, and although I don't always remember exactly how it was or who said what, I like to look back and realise how far I have come from a particular point.

Sadly the things that punctuate my life are break ups. Some long standing relationships that simply no longer exist. Moments where I have been let down, and although celebrating achievements and mile stones are often happy occasions, I am actually a pessimistic person, who is hurt by others negativity and rejection. It is hard to let go of those things, and even at 29, I remember some of the things that were said to me as a child that hurt, although through the negative comments I found a way of being a better person. 

A year ago this week, I was rejected by a man I barely knew. We'd been on a couple of dates, and seemed to get on well. He is in the Navy and naturally spent a lot of time at work, away from his home county. He just didn't reply to my texts. I don't know what I did wrong, but I didn't see it coming and was hurt by it all. At the same time, I was wondering about what God wanted for my life and with that rejection, He made it clear that I wasn't to 'go after' a navy/army/airforce life. I see that now. 

So where am I one year on? Well, one person who stood by me during the whole ordeal, is now my boyfriend. The night I was stood up, he was there to tell me that I deserved much better, and he was right. Little did I know he was pointing the finger to himself!

Ray chased me, for a long time. Hid his disappointment as I went on dates with other men, but sat through everything with me, listening to all I had to say about  each day/evening out (there were a few unsuccessful moments) and telling me that I still deserved more. Someone who understood me and saw right through me at the same time. He kept going with the friendship thing until early December. 

So for 8 months, he has been the person who is my rock and fortress, all in one. He went all out for me and got all of my heart. I love him and I know God has given me the right person, the person I deserve. God's timing was and is perfect. My impatience as a human really shows sometimes, but we live every day as it comes and we work through the struggles and the joys, and celebrate the mile stones by spend far too much time doing the things we love (eating, watching movies and spending time with family).

Did I mention I get hugely sentimental? 

Here is to many more celebrations (my parents 30th wedding anniversary, my nephew and niece's first birthdays, the wedding of my brother and his fiancée, the birth of my second nephew and then our first anniversary) and many more opportunities to get soppy!