Restrictions

Mainly parking ones atm. There were people in our road putting out notices for the local council this afternoon. I don't know how long they have to be up before the council can start painting yellow lines on our road, but that's what is going to happen. They're also going to put up signs that say 'no waiting 08:30 - 09:30 and 14:30 - 15:30' it's worded slightly differently on the actual sign but you get the drift.

Now the problem with this is they won't actually enforce the no waiting thing at all. Well maybe for the first week. But after that it will be a free for all, and there will still be people parked across our drive come 3 in the afternoon, or whenever one of us needs to be somewhere and the car they are using is on the drive. Yes, mothers, fathers, guardians and carers will intially be scared out of their whits, but the fear will subside and life will continue on as normal.

I've seen it happen, nay, I have parked my car in a zone similar to the one that will be implied and I did not feel the wrath of the council bearing down on me for disobeying their rules.

One problem we have is that we have 5 cars in our family currently, and only three have spaces on the land that my parents own (or are leasing permenantly - not sure how it works, not being a home owner an' all!) So two people will potentially get fined (if a traffic warden would like to watch the road for a whole day). There are two (possibly three) arguments to this -

One - no-one who can prove that they live in the road should get fined for parking on it - it's where we live, we should really have space outside our houses to park our cars.

Two - We as residents should have room for the cars that we own on our properties, so that they can sit during the day without getting fined.

Three - We should have less cars (which is impossible)

And this won't solve the problem, it'll only move it somewhere else...

I don't know how many people protested, but it doesn't seem to have done any good. Which just leads me to believe we're heading for a world where the opinion of the public doesn't matter.

Andy says he will rip up a parking fine if he gets one...We'll see....

Off to High Leigh this weekend, but first I have to pack, go to youth group, lead emarge and raid the hall of all the fun things that I own as a youth worker, and finish what I'm going to say on Sunday morning!! Not busy at all... :S

All wrapped up...

In my own little world recently...lots has been going on, but I still feel like I've got loads of time, when really actually I probably haven't.

I think the problem may be to do with the strange times I'm sleeping at the moment, I really can't seem to get into a routine that means I get up at a sensible time, work through the day and go to bed at an equally sensible time.

I'm working on it...I just seem to be lacking discipline right now. It's like living at home seems to have bitten me and I feel like I'm a teenager again, waiting til the last moment to crawl out of bed and go to school. It's got to change...but as with getting up, I keep putting off that change...

At the moment, there is only so much I can do at home, I'm currently suffering some interference technologically at least...the laptop has decided that it won't connect to the internet, even when it's sat next to the router, and the booster...Dad can't figure out what is wrong, so a phone call to Dell may well be on the cards...but I'm saving that until after the church weekend away.

Yes, we're near October half term, which means its going away time for many churches. This time we're going to High Leigh Conference centre in Hoddesdon. For teaching (which I will be doing with the young people and so will Karen), music and games, as well as a little bit of fun chucked in for good measure. I don't know quite how I'm going to survive, but I know that I'm going to need prayer and sleep.

Episode Two

I feel like I've had an episode, nevermind watched one...I'm going to have to watch the last 5 mins of S3 E2 again, just to understand what went on in a little more detail, cos iPlayer is brilliant, but big screen tv is better!

I'm talking about Heroes, if you're totally lost...it's so much quicker than Series 2, jumping from story line to story line, without losing the intensity of it all and moving rapidly forward with each shift.

I watched the sneak peak build up the other day and now I seen everything twice. I want to give the story line away and say 'wow, this happened' and 'woah, she/he....' but I can't for fear of people hating me because I just don't do cryptic very well.

I'm refusing to watch BBC Three this time round, just because I did exactly what i'm trying not to do right now...

Roll on Wednesdays!

Lee Evans live at the O2

This man is a comical genius...I must have been following him for a good 8 years...but he's been doing observational comedy for 20.


Last night, 4 of us headed to the O2 arena in North Grenwich, to join with 20,000 other people in the biggest stand up tour this country has ever seen.

I love it, I would add explitives...but I really don't want to offend anyone... The second half was better than the first and the experience was made better by Mike having and O2 contract, so we could get exclusive access to a horribly over priced bar. (£7.50 for a cocktail) The bar was nice, forking out £20 for four drinks hurt lots.

Speed dating, footballers, referees, all were mentioned in some vain and I can't wait to buy the DVD to see it all over again and relive the memory of seeing him live for the second time.

It was all new material, a Lee was at the top of his game, I don't know how he does it, but I've got a huge amount of respect for him!

Harvest Service 2008

Aren't we a clever bunch? Three crosses (the yellow one created by members of Christ church) to signify the local harvest (red), the global harvest (orange) and the harvest of the people who are in the world (yellow).


The cross at the front of church, drapped with the colours.

I really enjoyed the service, it got a little heavy, but all the commets were positive.

So thank you CMS for providing and inspirational service pack, to Mark and the band for the brilliant music, to Stephen for creating the crosses on the floor and the Pathfinders for their prayers. (And thank you to everyone who did something in or for the service).

I'm tired now though...I've been building myself up for a long nights sleep. It's not over yet!! I've got Evo to entertain first...

Lun - don Tuawn! (Think Lily Allen)

I have been in London for most of today...time spent on Chadwell Heath station (due to a fatality on the line) with my MP3 player to keep me occupied, on taking pictures of famous landmarks - hence the photo blog and on worshipping God with 400 other women at a conference.


Biker, bus and time piece...London at its most typical..


I was stood eating a crepe at this point...I wrote in September about Child Poverty and this was a 'Keep the promise' march, organised by the End Child Poverty campaign. Basically the government aren't doing anything about what the current situation is.

So I found myself caught up in it, without really thinking about it. Lots of noise, lots of people...no traffic. Watching a walking protest is moving ('scuse the pun). If you've ever been to a carnival you'll know it's very easy to get a beat going with your feet and you start to dance along, well it's the same with this. People feel strongly enough to join together and stop central London to make their point.

I don't know if it was on the news, but I'm sure their will be pictures somewhere...check it out.

So the conference was really good. I missed the set up session and the day ran over, but on the whole it was well attended and thought through. The sung worship was top class, even though it was just a piano, guitar and violin...I met some nice people, got some encouragement, and gave some too. Learnt something about culture and a lot about being a single woman, which I will pass on, to the people around me.

Tomorrow is the event that I've been preparing for all weekend. Harvest service...I'm going to bed...

Harvest 2008

Not only am I leading the Sunday morning service this week, I'm also doing three mini-preaches during the service. Why? Because it's our harvest celebration this week and we (I) decided to do something different this year. Hopefully it'll work, I'm going to give the whole church a chance to take part in the service and what we're doing could be really effective, obviously if everyone chooses to take part. I'm taking my camera, it's going to be visual!

That means my week has been pretty busy, both with running around and trying to think theologically and logically about what to say and how best to get everyone involved.

More blogging when I get over the excitement of Heroes!

Hitting the nail on the head...

Welcome readers old and new...

People seem to be visiting my blog after typing in some key phrases in to Google...I've checked the links and this blog seems to be in the top ten for a fair few searches...Exciting.

So I'm getting between 15 and 20 visits a day - which adds up to a lot of people at the end of the month. (Nick'll tell you that it's not a lot and he gets far more visitors...Check the link in 'Want to read more...' on the right when you've got a couple of years to spare :) )

At least there's a reason for me writing...however this entry seems to be a little lacking in direction, other than to gloat!

Youth work thingies are going well...Mum and Dad are on holiday at the moment, so the house is a little studenty at the moment, I've given up trying to 'run' the house whilst they're away, it causes me far too much stress to clean up after my brothers. So I just tidy up after myself.

Anyway, youth work thingies...love it...it's getting busy and I'm starting to fill my time effectively. Still no office though...

Looking forward to the new season of Heroes starting on Wednesday, that's something that is definitely going on the Sky+...shame I've got no one to talk to about it as I don't work with anyone who's as obsessed as I am!

'I'll pray for you'

What do you think of when you hear this? Is it a comfort or annoying to you?

I've been involved recently in a conversation about this phrase, some people think it's great, that they've got a lot of people they say this to and they hope it makes a difference, other people (who have it said to them) find it condescending.

Someone said 'Why don't you go and do something useful...feed starving children in Africa or save an animal'.

My response was a little angry, not all of us are called to feed starving children or look after animals...I believe that I'm called to pray for those who do and don't have faith, that God might help them in their day to day issues, even if they don't see it.

I'll keep praying...what are you going to do?

Child Poverty cont...

Ok so in reply to my Dad's comments...wiki tells us that poverty can be extreme (living on less than US$1 a day) or moderate (less than US$2 a day). You can check out the Wiki site for more information. There's a lot to read and take in...

My gut reaction is to say 'surely this 'cover all' does not do that job?' On the Wiki site the definition of poverty is this

'to be poor is to be deprived of those goods and services and pleasures which others around us take for granted'

Which is better than a monetry value that certainly doesn't mean anything to me when it comes in dollars, therefore each countries cost of basic living should be set by the government, as they have the biggest idea of what the minimum is to live.

Helpful?

Child Poverty

Some time ago I attended Spring Harvest with St Mikes Youth, we decided that we'd do the student stream after the main meeting. We talked about various topics and even got involved in a voxpop moment or two, but there was one statistic that stuck in my mind.

Here it is

1 in 3 children lives in poverty in the UK today.

Spring Harvest was 18 months ago and this hasn't changed. I've had a lot of conversations with various people who refuse to believe that anyone in this country can be poor or in poverty, but the simple fact of the matter is that it is all relative. You would be stupid to deny that there are people who do not have enough money to live on.

So this has been bugging me ever since I heard all about it and in a couple of weekends theres a march happening in London. Sadly, I can't go, but I will be showing my support by writing to my MP. Have a look at http://www.endchildpoverty.org.uk/ and let me know what you think, or just take action, after all things like this don't get solved by people just taking about it!

'Let the children come to me' Jesus said and I think that is just as important today as it always has been...after all it's in the news today...Gordon Brown is repeating what Tony started...They do need to actually put it all in to practice though, the Lib Dems are talking about the educational needs of those who are living in deprived rural areas (the gist of the article in Children and Young People Now was that poverty doesn't just happen in urban areas), so it's on everyones minds...we just need to make sure it doesn't go away, that we keep reminding people about it and not ignoring it, making sure that we find a way of helping these families out.

It's bugged me so much that when I was first looking for a job, I started to look into working with people who are in poverty. I didn't really find anything, I think its something that's just not in the social conciousness, because we believe we're in a stable, wealthy country. Sadly there is a line, its happening all around the world, equality does not exist anywhere...there are poor and rich, no matter where you come from.

Don't ignore it...

A surprise...

Every time I have blogged for the last 6 weeks I have wanted to say 'There's a party that I'm organising and this has happened...' but it was a surprise - my parents celebrate their 25th Wedding anniversary this week and Karen and I have spent a lot of time on the phone organising a party for them.

I hate lying...

Here's a couple of photos for you so that you can join in too...

Karen's car before we left home...the ribbon was matching the bridesmaids dresses.

Karen and I mid party ... Mandy got hold of the camera!

A picture of everyone who attended - great idea Dad!

And a family portrait to celebrate...

It was a reallt good day, I really enjoyed it and everyone played their part. There are loads of photos and loads of memories...

I'm tired now though and I'm not doing another surprise party for a long time...

Becoming the 'bad guy'

One thing I really haven't had to get used to in my life is confrontation. It's one of the things that scares me, but I know that in my line of work, I have to sometimes use my authority to make a point, and most of the time, that means confronting someone.

Tonight was the first time in a long time that I've had to tell someone off for their behaviour. I had to ban someone from youth group for a week because he decided to use a fire door. Part of me thinks 'why didn't we use this punishment before?' A one week ban for using a door and setting off an alarm is a good idea. The more we use discipline in the correct manner, the more we're likely to be able to control situations and understand what is going on too.

More news on facebook...people are joining a group that give instructions on how to get the old facebook back, but I've read the instructions at it seems ridiculously complicated, just so that people can feel comfortable about using something that didn't even exist 3 years ago.

How has this social networking site taken over our lives?

I get it, but i don't really see why it's so important for me to be friends with as many people as possible, for me to keep up to date with those friends through their status updates. Yes its a revolution, it's instant, it fits the consumer society and we can laugh at the photos...what would Paul say about it? Is there a problem with letting this social networking site become part of our lives so rapidly and all encompassing?

I have had some brilliant conversations with my friends online, I've spoken to people that I haven't got in touch with for years...in fact the Viz-a-Viz reunion was organised on Facebook, but there's a line that needs to be drawn...don't quite know where that is, but I'm sure I won't step over it. Will society be so conscious of it's decisions? We'll wait and see I guess...

All things new...

It's funny how people react to new things...some love the challenge, but most just complain or make a fuss about it.

Take the new facebook, for a while now I've been getting used to working it and finding out where everything is. So I understand it, I understand how it works, and what bugs still need sorting (like walls disappearing) some poeple have had it forced upon them... kind of cruel, but it's not hard to switch over and if you're advanced enough to be on facebook, you'll pick up the new one easily!

Have just watched the closing cermony too - amazing again...our part was interesting and Boris was a laugh, as always!!

Youth Alpha

It's that time again...lots of food, lots of questions and a load of fab memories...

This time we're in Billericay, we're in the high street and we're above Costa. If you're 14-18 and you've got questions, come and join us on a Monday night from 8pm.

If you're a little older, have a look at the Alpha website...

Going out tonight to pray for this, it's an all together event, so lots of different styles and ideas as to how it should work. Pray with us if you're not joining us.

SKY+

Is a wonderful invention, not perfect, but nothing is these days. my main problem with it at the moment is family viewing...there are programmes that we record as a family on it, but don't watch as a family, so I end up seeing two or three of the same programme.

Take Neighbours, Mum watches it just before Mike comes in from work, then what's the first thing that Mike does? 'Can I watch Neighbours please?' Obviously the answer is yes...I'll trot off somewhere else because its the kind of programme where you can only tolerate one episode once a week.

Sleeping during the day is not, I am finding really quickly, a handy thing to do...we joked at uni about being cranky if we hadn't had a nap, but i think it's the other way round for me!!

An answer to a prayer...

Well...not a prayer as such, but a blog, a frustration and a moan...

The delivery man turned up about 20 mins after I blogged, which was great. Testament to God answering cries for help even though it wasn't in the form of a prayer. It meant that i could take some time out before going ovr to Chelmsford for a session on the 'Gospel according to John Lewis'.

A very good evening, I learnt a lot and I hope the church I attend is one of the better churches. We've got all sorts of ideas from a guy who used to be an executive of John Lewis. They built their customer service reputation through their staff...amazing...

There's quite a lot to take in and it's late, so I'm going to sleep on it!

Time Check 2

It's 15:49 and I've been sat in Christ Church Office since 09:00 this morning, waiting for a man in a van (or possibly a lady) to come and collect my old laptop and its box.

I'm annoyed, I'm tired, I'm hungry and there's pretty much nothing I can do about it. I can't really even lock to door to stop people from coming in, for fear that I might miss said collection person.

So I'm sat in a cold office, I've had the heater on all day... I missed the sunshine and the slightly warmer part of the day, it's now raining and I'm getting a little bit upset by it all.

Here's hoping that posting this will encourage said person to hurry up...yawn...

Doing the geek thing...

I'm far too competitive for my own good...Tetris has taken over my life...sad eh? Facebook is addictive too...

I've had problems with it though, Facebook seems to work best on IE, but I use Firefox and there can be problems with social networking sites. So we've had to make sure that the cache clears itself every time I shut down.

I'm watching the paralympic opening ceremony whilst blogging...I'm absolutly amazed and in wonder of it all. I don't know whether we can top this. The use of technology and the stories are brilliant...Visually its incredibly strong. The outfits are amazing too...

My youngest brother turns 19 today...

On retreat...

(or under a tree as it was once interpreted!)

The SMB/Youth worker contingent in Billericay headed to Bradwell for the afternoon, to find space to pray and listen to God.

This is a picture of the church at Bradwell, its situated in a very open part of the countryside, near the estuary, which makes it very windy... Today didn't disappoint.

Inside the church is wonderful, I really wish I could have taken some more pictures and spent some more time exploring the area.

We met at Costa and did an introductory game (which I may well steal for my young people in a couple of weeks) and travelled to Bradwell for lunch and reflection time. We had lunch with the Othona Community (who make the best colslaw) and walked across the field to the church.

Retreat and reflection are a great way to start the academic year and I feel that God spoke to me through other things that were said during the afternoon. I found it very hard to be still and quiet in a cold and windy place! Though the first of many visits I think!

I know I'm not insignificant to God, even when I feel like it, and if I can't cope, God will shelter me and give me a resting place.

Tiny shells house even tinier creatures...God designed it all...

All things Advent...

I bet you've had at least one thought about what you're going to do at Christmas...well, if you haven't I reckon by now you've started to think about what you're going to have for dinner in 113 days.

I started thinking about Christmas in mid August, we've got a party to organise for Shaken Up! More recently, today and yesterday, I've been thinking about Advent. Advent is the beginning of the Church's year, and we start the 'new year' by preparing for the coming of Christ. This year's Advent service is based on invitations and gifts.

Between now and Advent we've got Bible Sunday, Back to Church Sunday and Harvest, during Advent there's three Christingle services and then Christmas Day services (including a midnight service), there's a lot of preparation to do and a lot of people to involve.

So have to go any idea who you're going to invite to church over the rest of this year and on into the 'new year'?

A comment on a comment...

If you read the post dated Friday, August 29 2008, you'll see Sarah's comment and the link that she posted regarding the song Healer.

I did go on YouTube before my meeting last night and was greeted with a whole host of angry vidoes and replies. Apparently the guy who wrote the song had been lying about the treatment and illness he'd received.

Australian TV has pretty much ripped Mike Guglielmucci apart for the way he has deceived the church, his parents and his family.

I'm not a medical expert, and I'm not really sure what to say. Obviously it's a shock for everyone who knows Mike and for everyone who has given money or committed to praying for him over the last two years. Soul Survivour have made a statement and pulled the song from this years live album and Hillsong, well, the site seems to be a little quiet about it...

Personally, the song for me is a good one, and I guess I don't really identify with it from Mike's stories, it's difficult to make a decision based on what other people are saying, but I guess that's how it has to be.

All I can do is pray for healing, for Mike, the church and all the relationships where the trust has been broken. The song, strangely still applies to the situation, God is good and He will make right the wrongs that have gone on...it's not up to us. God's love endures forever (Ps 136) and there's nothing we can do to earn His love, He forgives us, and He will heal us when we ask.

That Monday morning feeling...

Seems to have lasted a day for me...first day at work...my line manager back part time and a couple of emails to catch up on...

I must admit that getting up this morning was hard, but I've got to get into a routine, otherwise I won't survive...

Here's hoping the rest of the week gets better!

Circle Line Challenge

Saturday night saw some of us head into London to take part in the 'Circle Line Challenge'.

Let me explain... The idea is to go to a pub and have a drink at every stop on the circle line, from London's underground system. Simple! I hear you cry...

Well... if you know where all the nearest pubs are... I'm surprised that Mayor Boris Johnson hasn't cottoned on to this idea and put a bar in every station... he'd make a load of money to pay for 2012!

As always, picture included...12 of us, all dressed as service men and women, getting some strange looks (you'd think that London would know what's going on by now...), trying not to get lost or beaten up... Us in the Weatherspoons at the top of Liverpool Street Station...didn't mind that pub.

Next we skipped a few stops and headed to the O'Neills nearest Kings Cross...I think we may have made/disrupted some peoples quiet Saturday evening drinks.

We decided to abandon going all the way round (you need a lot longer if you're going to get all pubs at all stations - and a sensible choice of shoe is a good idea.) and headed to Covent Garden instead.

The Punch and Judy which over looks the performers square is a lovely pub, so is Henry's Bar...which is just off the square. Not a hugely expensive night (a kitty is a brilliant idea) and there's no pressure to drink huge amounts plus there's quite a lot of time between drinks if there's a large group of you.

Shame the last train to Billericay is 00:50 and we didn't get into London until 20:15.

Still...maybe next time...

Watching the cricket...

Taking a small amount of time out to watch the cricket and catch up on all the necessary sport/celebrities doing sport things... (Strictly Come Dancing is back!!)

All the publicity is done...up and ready for everyone to peruse on Sunday, and I will post them on here, I promise...I will also post them on Facebook.

I've had a look at my resources and done some more planning. I've got to get all set up for 9 days time, when my Sundays will become the one day in the week that I have to put my all into. No more sleepy afternoons.

I've been listening to another new CD over the last day or so, and I'm already hooked. Hillsong have released 'This is Our God' and already i can hear songs that I going to be hugely helpful to me, and for my ministry. The last album I purchased was titled 'Mighty to Save' - I still reel from the lyrics from the song of the same name

'Saviour, He can move the mountains,
my God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save,
Forever, author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave'

and this album is similar, with mind blowing, heart felt, scripture lead lyrics. 'Healer', 'Your name high' and 'you are here' as songs that will probably make it into song books across the country. Apparently one of the songs was an anthem at Soul Survivor! I also love 'where we belong' because its based on one of my favourite pieces of scripture. I will be listening to this album a lot, and hopefully introducing it into church...

Makes me want to go to Australia (where Hillsong are based), or big congregational meetings...I'm part of the modern church...

We're doing well in the cricket...ODI against SA, winning convincingly so far...

New laptop is kinda behaving itself. I need to get set up at church, so that I can work happily at my desk (though I don't actually have a desk right now!).

Kicking into gear

Well...it seems the summer is over...not that it actually felt like it had begun at all, but there we go.

I did want to blog pictures of some of the things I've been doing today, but as ever, with different systems, you end up opening something on a different computer (namely new Vista on new system to new laptop with XP), and it doesn't quite match what you've spent hours doing, so you have to go back to the original system and create .jpg's of everything.

Basically I've blogged about it, but I can't actually be bothered to go upstairs and carry out the process that I've just described...maybe tomorrow, definitely before the term begins, you will be able to see all of my wonderful publicity on the web in various places - here I come church website!!

I also spent some time doing the visuals for those who don't have internet access - so the board in church is half complete with notes tagged to it for all the additional things i need to create for me to be happy with it.

Now that I've done all of this I've just got to pray that I get some young people along...

The rest of the day has been spent listening to the new Hillsong album and recovering from being in Bristol!!

New Laptop mark 2

So the laptop arrived at church, and my mum had to text me to let me know it had arrived...what do you do with a big box that's got someones name on it...you phone them to let them know that whatever they ordered had arrived...argh!

So the screen works, the internet works, the touchpad is a little too sensitive, the right click key is a little funny, and the USB's are plagued by a simple design fault - the casing is in the wrong place...

Still a 13 inch screen is not bad - no glare so far. The program install was easy, thanks to the emergency setup my Dad has done recently, we'll just see if the internet connects tomorrow morning, so far I've done one reboot and it still works fine.

Back in Billericay now, meetings with young people start tomorrow, so hopefully I can sort out some publicity for them beforehand.

School is almost back on my radar...I'll tell you how I feel after my first week.

Blogging from Bristol!

In Kay's kitchen, relishing good food and good company...On retrat for a couple of days, before term starts and things get hetic...

Not a lot to report really, just thought I'd let you know where I've been!

Kay and I have been into her school, I've been catching up on church news and sitting in the coffee shop. I've also been into Bristol to see the new development, which is opening soon...very exciting stuff, it feels a lot more built up and busy atm.

So back to Billericay on Wednesday, then meetings and a publicity run for the young people.

Another one!!

Another quiet week in the world of Liz. I still have no office, no laptop and no idea of what September holds. I'm just hoping that God will fix it all very shortly.

Karen's doing well at Resonate, proud of her talk and happy to be camping (silly girl).

I'm still astounded by the amount of people visiting my blog through the words 'pink mini cooper'. It's one of the top images in Google now! They are a very rare find it seems, but still the car of my dreams!

I'm going to have to get into gear soon, but I still think being at work 'properly' is going to hit me like a Juggernaut!

Gigging

I hope you all know by now that I'm into my live music scene, specifically the local talent that can be found in Essex, and that I would love to go to more gigs where quality music is produced.

Yesterday I had a chance to support a good friend of mine and his band as they played at the 'y fest' in Central Park, Chelmsford, which is run by the YMCA.

Above, ladies and gentlemen, is Crimson Cross, in a marquee, while the rain poured down! They played well and pulled in a crowd of at least 30 people! In my (slightly skewed opinion) they were one of the better bands - shame the judges didn't think the same - the band that followed made a racket and won... :(

Still they're up and coming and they've got some good songs under their belt...a few lady fans (check the pictures on facebook of the lead singer signing autographs afterwards!), and a committed following. Bigger and better things to come, definitely...

Today is play with the printer day...trying to figure out how to save something in the right format on the laptop that doesn't work so that I can print it in the office, on a colour printer.

DELL have promised a new laptop, one that connects to the internet, has a screen that works first time and a keypad that works all of the time. For the money that is being spent, I expect quality...currently I'm only getting good music out of it...

10 to 14 working days...we'll see if DELL can finally deliver.

Thorpe Park 2008

Yesterday started at 06:30 and ended at 02:00 - a pretty long day...for all the right (though some wrong) reasons.

I went to the 8am service - as it's third Sunday we get a chance to have a spoken communion before the all together service at 10am, with breakfast in between! I love being a church for an extended amount of time...though occasionally its stressful...our family is made up of a great mix of people and seeing them all is good fun.

After the 10am service, the twenty-somethings got into various cars and headed off to Thorpe Park. We had a lot of fun, trying to get people wet, getting wet on purpose and trying to dry off afterwards, queuing and chatting with the Thorpe Park staff when the rides broke down. Sadly Colossus suffered a technical failure, so we couldn't go on it, but some of the small rides made an impact...Rush and Slammer being two of the rides I would go on again. I had Heather next to me screaming like a banshee...and the boys doing superman poses as often as they could!

To the right is a picture of Stealth one of the newer rides (2006 I think) at the park. I'm a thrill seeker (a convert) and this was ok, but it didn't get me screaming like Heather. Thorpe Park is a tame park...their 'dangling legs' ride isn't fast enough in my opinion, I really wanted to go on Colossus but it sounds like it maybe suffering from old age. Overall I liked the rides, but they felt familiar and didn't rattle me enough...I didn't fell pinned to my seat on Stealth, which was over too quickly - Rita: Queen of Speed is a better ride - its longer, and well designed with tight turns and a feeling of danger - but that's 4 hours away in Staffordshire!

Still not much more to complain about...the park is compact and easy to navigate, KFC's menu was a little short, but the queuing wasn't bad, though you don't get the suspense that Alton Towers builds! X No Way Out was better than I remember it, but going backwards in the dark, with starting and stopping is hard on the neck.

I'm going to have to find some bigger, scarier rides to get a kick!

This week I've got planning, reading and creating to do, a Vista system to get used to (I don't like the fact that it 'wiped' the photos from my camera, when I told it to leave them on there), car insurance to sort, mentoring to start and a festival to go to! Exciting stuff...I'll let you know how it goes!

NEW LAPTOP!

Finally...it works! I have a screen that is fixed and although its not properly set up yet, I'm happy with my new laptop. The technician didn't turn up until 5pm though...If I'd been on my own all day...boy would I have been angry when he knocked on the door.

Still, all happy now, I have to purchase a laptop bag soon. I have a feeling this one is going to be pink so that I don't leave it somewhere!

Kay's back in Bristol, spending a few days just chilling with her has been good fun!

We're heading to Thorpe Park this weekend, which I'm a little bit excited about, going to check out all the new rides and hopefully get in for half price...photo's (as always) to follow!

Time Check

It's 11:27 and I'm inside waiting for the technician from Dell to show up...currently I'm bored, but there's an air of anticipation that he's going to do something amazing and I'm going to have a laptop to set up by the end of today.

If he doesn't turn up then I'm safe in the knowledge that Kay will definitely not disappoint!

A bit of Bristol is coming to Essex and I'm a little excited about it!

Radio interview

After spending half an hour in church this morning, I zoomed off to Brentwood to take part in a radio interview for Phoenix FM. They've got a very neat set up at the back of the Baytree centre.

I enjoyed my time on air and plugged the church, as well as the work I do, and all of the other activities we have going on. Not as scary as I thought and I would definitely do it again!

Mum and Dad are away this weekend in Norfolk, so the house has been overrun by people in their early 20's. It's been a good chance to spend time with friends and welcome people. Food is always high priority when anyone comes to visit, and this time was no different. I spent Friday night making meringue and Saturday buying and cooking meat and desserts (as well as completing my pass plus - motorway driving - piece of cake - must make sure I check my blind spots though!). The meringue went down a treat (though 6 egg whites is enough to feed ten Jamie Oliver!) and the rest of the food disappeared (apart form the salad - go figure!). Dishwashers make light work of a heavy night and the house is as clean as it was when Mum left on Friday, but only because I tidied up whilst the boys were playing drinking games.

On thing on being super efficient though - you tend to miss out on stuff...though I'm sure there will be photos appearing at some point!

A new arrival

I could talk about babies...like the team blog on my dashboard when I log in, but that's really not my kinda thing right now...no, I'm talking about a new laptop (scream!!).

My Dell laptop arrived yesterday (though no one phoned to tell me) at church, and I got rather excited this morning, but only after I had been told by someone else that there was a package for me. I check all of my mail and then got round to opening the big box. Carol thinks I'm crazy...just because I jumped around her...its the second new laptop I've had in as many years (after I left the other (brand new) laptop on the train, without any insurance), so here's hoping I don't do anything stupid with this custom built one!

Once again, though, I'm heading home because my arm is about to drop off from sitting with no support again.

Thankfully I'm going for a hot stone massage on Monday...

And, more exciting news...I'm going to be on the radio on Sunday morning (whilst everyone else is in church d'oh? or good? Can't decide). Phoenix FM (those clever chappies at Brentwood, online and on the radio) have decided to do an article on the churches in the area. I'm the only one who responded positively apparently...more than happy to get the gospel out on a local radio station. I've just got to pray that I don't bottle it and I can give a proper insight into the work of Christ Church. It's just a chat, into a mic, with a guy I've never met before, that people in Brentwood and Billericay are going to be listening to. Eek!

The Emerging Church

So back to the Post-modern church...I've read some more of Dan Kimball's book and have started to get a little bit excited about 'vintage Christianity' and 'church'. We always say the church is 'not the building, its the people' and Dan whole-heartedly writes with this belief and mind-set. He speaks of the early church and the church today...how things have changed, but the similarities are more striking than ever.

A post-modern world is one where spirituality is key, but religion is not - so I've answered the question for you, if you were pondering. Further more Christianity is no longer the principle religion in society (both in England and America according to Dan) however studying religion and belief in 'God' is rife.

So Dan has deconstructed and I am now in the midst of reconstructing the idea of church.

It's not a Sunday thing, its not a programme - its a way of community and a mission.

More when I've finished...I promise!

I'm still tired...

Ok I have not really recovered properly from yesterday, and, actually, I'm still trying to get used to not having a routine still...It's taking its toll, I'm not doing all 'normal' things I would do - like drinking plenty of water and eating fruit by the bucket load, which means I'm a little under the weather anyway, so it'll take me time to adjust.

Yesterday was good fun, We piled on to the minibus, knowing that it was going to rain all day, but still in high spirits. We arrived in Frinton (which has not changed that much since I was last there some 5 years ago) and set up our stuff on the beach. I'd made the decision, long before we arrived, that I wasn't going to take my shoes off, or go anywhere near the water (for fear of being pushed in) and I succeeded in the two and a half hours that we took over a little bit of golden sand...then it started to rain...and didn't stop until we decided to head for the safety of Walton-on-the-Naze pier.

Walton has arcades, food and shelter...so we spent an hour or so drinking tea (Ribena for me) and eating cheesey chips. Then we had the walk back and the journey home...

A really good day, it was all organised by the Baptist Youth worker, he's got some good ideas and is keen to get a lot of people involved with what he has planned.

We're hoping to sync our diaries soon, so that we get the right mix of events and don't overlap. Watch this space for news of all the events that we'll be doing as a team and what is going on in specific churches.

The other thing I've been up to, today and next Saturday, specifically, is Pass Plus - an additional six hours on the road with my instructor, so that I can feel a little better about driving in unknown places and focus on whats 'out there' whilst I'm driving...I've done three hours so far, and I am exhausted...it's a lot of hard work driving through places you don't know. Three more hours to go...motorway driving on Saturday..eek!

I'm also reviewing 4 new albums...Sara Bareillis, Gabriella Cilmi, Duffy and Alphabeat. So far so good, Gabriella Climi is my least favourite, Sara Bareillis and Alphabeat are at the top and Duffy is Duffy...unique! I'm going to keep listening, all four are on my mp3 player, so if I get to walk somewhere or have to travel anywhere on a train soon, this is where I'll go!

I'm trying to find something for us to do as a peer group for our weekend away in October...anyone got any ideas for the Hertford area?!

The Grand Day Out

Walton on the Naze by day...the picture is a little glum, because it rained for a majority of the day and it was taken on my phone!

Still a good day had by all, I'm tired now though, so I'll blog more when I am less exhausted!

The Modern and Post-modern way of doing things.

The Modern - The joys of HTML/Javascript

If you've ever tired to edit a blog you'll know exactly what I'm going to complain about, if you haven't...well, I'll explain as I go along.

Karen has a tracker on her blog, its a nifty one with a lot of information on it about the readers of her blog, it gives her an idea of who's reading, where they are from and how often they visit(nothing that means she can sell their personal details on to other companies you understand!). I was thrown into this a couple of years ago (sat in Karen's room in Cardiff) and added it to my blog. Then one day, for no reason, it just stopped working...so for at least 24 months I've had no idea who's keeping up with me and who's around regularly. Now though, things are different...I've got my tracker back...the little black and blue box lets me be just one click away from finding out all about you dear reader!

It's taken a whole week for me to figure the thing out and get it working though! Blogger decided, in its wisdom, that changing a copy and pasted HTML code (lots of lines and letters, numbers and symbols) is a regular thing to do. Extreme (the company who provide the tracker) assured me that the code was correct, and there was nothing they could help me with...I was to go back to Blogger and ask them what was wrong. As always, whenever I need help, my request becomes rare or unusual, and I can't find anything other than a description of how to get HTML on to a page. GREAT. So I came to my senses and just re-wrote the code, letter for letter into the box. I spotted the problem...Blogger had just 'forgotten' to add some lines in the HTML!

Writing HTML isn't the most exciting thing ever, but when it works, it has some exciting results!

So now I have a tracker...Woop!

I've spent most of today compiling emails and replying to various bits and pieces as well as sorting out my phone and trying to get hold of comparethemarket.com, the latter has brought me absolutely no joy at all, sometimes when I phone out the person I'm calling can't hear me...it's happened twice, once with Orange and once today...I don't know whether its the call centre or me...still I will not phone an 0845 number if the company can't get their act together about phoning my mobile number!

The Post-modern - The Church and its surroundings

Yesterday was an interesting day...for personal reasons I took a day out, to sit in my room to pray, listen and read.

I guess the main thing that impacted me was my lack of discipline...I haven't been doing what I should recently, so building up my quiet times and prayer times again is going to be interesting, this time last year I was a lot better at it and felt better for it too...recently not so much, but it has been highlighted by a few God-incidences that reading (the Bible) and praying are things we need to be doing, both corporately and individually. So here's my pledge - to read my Bible and pray daily...starting froooommm....NOW!

I came back to my Bible notes at the right moment too...1 Timothy 4: 11-16 says

'Command and teach these things. Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you.
Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.'

What more do you need to hear really when you think the world is against you? These verses are my inspiration, along with the letter to the Ephesians and the Christians in Thessalonica.

I'm currently reading a book by Dan Kimball about the Emerging Church, and Church in a post modern age. I'll review it when I'm done, some questions though, and if you can't answer it, I guess you should read Dan's book... Do you live with a modern or post-modern outlook on life? Are the people around you modern or post-modern in their view? What do you think post-modernism is?

The idea of post-modernism is an intersting subject for me, initially as a sociologist, secondly as a theologian and thirdly as a youth worker (though all are interchangeable) because it can strike fear into people and it can open up a can of worms...but from what I've already read and know, its something that needs to be tackled!

Keep an eye out for further posts!

I have to go home, sitting at this computer has given me a dull shoulder ache that can only be attributed to the lack of support for the wrists whilst typing/using the keyboard...

The interesting thing...

About spending a lot of time on your own is that you start to understand what it is you're meant to be doing...

I've taken the time today to set up the planning for the Friday evening groups, now all I need to do is pray, gather the leaders and get all of my groups sorted. I'm hoping that we can go until at least Easter '09, with the potential of even sorting out the summer term.

One problem that is increasingly major is the distinct shortage of male leaders. So pray with me that God's plan will be revealed on this one, cos it's not currently very clear...

The Oast Houses

You're gonna have to type the title of this blog into Google to see where I stayed this weekend. I can't figure out how to make it link to another web page! Of course the pictures don't do it justice, and I didn't take any of my own because I forgot my camera and was working all weekend!

I spent my time with 3 other volunteers, who were happy enough to spend the weekend with 14 children, all of whom were well behaved and extremely excited by the thought of jumping on a couple of new faces. It was a fulfilling weekend and not as tiring as most weekends that I've found myself on recently.

I also spent some time in Rye, which is a very steep town, about 20 mins from where we were staying. I found some really nice fudge (which promptly went in the fridge when I got back!) and some good ice cream too...sadly I watched the bowls for a bit and read the paper before going back for dinner and a show of all the talent in the church.

South Green Baptist Church is a brilliant family, a good mix of young and old, all helping each other and welcoming to new faces. I loved the weekend, the right level of relaxing and working for me, time to switch off and time for teaching.

So back to work, and on my own too now, well not entirely, but everyone seems to be away this week or doing intense events (holiday bible club etc) so I have to find something to fill the time! I've got a lot of things that I need to do, like creating spread sheets and documents that will make it easy for me to keep track of time and money spent, looking at the next term and finding outwhats happening, so that I can plan effectively, keeping people in the loop and checking various bits of information to make sure it's correct.

I was given a book by Paul, who is our new team rector, as a 'welcome' present, which I'm going to digest over the summer, so I'll let you know what comes out of that and how my ideas form.

One problem I do have is that I really can't move my youth work 'stuff' (books, bibles, resources etc) until after all the work on the church and my office has been completed, so I am a little less focussed, as well as not having a laptop (shortly to be resolved) to put all of my work on. It'll make for a very interesting start to the academic year...it could feel a little rushed and last minute, but hopefuly not. Here's praying for guidance and focus.

To view or not to view

I decided not to go for the flat that I veiwed last week. It's a little too small and too expensive. So we keep praying...a house share is looking like a better option, but at the moment I'm holding off on that.

This week has been interesting so far. A good friend of mine is back from his job for a couple of months, so having him around will be nice, he's always welcome and up for doing random things.

I am officially a member of the Billericay and Little Bursted Ministry, having signed my contract yesterday evening at Paul's, there's a huge sense of the word 'team' at the moment, at what it means to be in a ministry that covers a wide area. It looks like there's a lot going on that we don't know about as a team and communication is key! It's all exciting though, I'm going to be visiting the youth groups and seeing how we can use our resources effectively...

The rest of the time has been spent in school (going back into Billericay as a staff member is weird) and preparing for the weekend away with South Green Baptist Church. I'm becoming a children's worker for the weekend, along with three other VaV volunteers (some ex, some current) so it should be a lot of fun...If I can get over the illness that I'm feeling right now. I think a lot of sleep needs to be put in my diary for the next couple of days...

I've been told of the importance of taking time out and booking retreat days, before the work starts coming in. I also need to take time out to study and pray. So discipline comes back into my life in a big way and I have to make sure I stick to it!

God what are you doing in this place?

We've come so far...

...and we've reached so high...and we're still so young and we hope for more.

I could go on...and on. If you know the lyric, you'll know the band and you'll have probably heard of the musical. If you're like me, you'll have sung the rest of the song by now and remembered how the musical ends.

I had a brilliant time on Friday night, with Karen in London, seeing Never Forget...it was great to see all the old songs from Take That re-worked but still sing-a-long-able*. I enjoyed almost every part of the night, the only thing I'm suffering for is not wearing comfortable shoes. I have blisters all over my feet...and I'm never walking across London again! It was good to see some friends and family, drinking in a bar near Farringdon.

The photos from the night are on Facebook and if you keep looking you'll also find photos of the main summer event that was held by EVO this weekend.

We had a BBQ, lots of music and a bouncy castle to keep the kids (and adults) entertained. We raised £165 for Little Havens Childrens Hospice (a local charity that looks after children) at the same time. I had so much fun during the day and on into the evening. I thought it would be stressful and really difficult, but God had it all under control and we invited people into the church who were new, which is alway good fun. Enid had spoken at the 8am service about welcoming people into church, and we did just that. It was an ideal event, and we're looking at doing it next year.

I have to write an article or two as well as preparing for the weekend away that's coming up (I've really not got my head around being away for this weekend yet). So back to work!

*it's the only way to describle it - I know its not a word!

Day Two

This youth work malarky is good fun...I spent most of the afternoon drinking OJ and chatting about exciting events in the Bradwell Area, with Mark and a few others in Southend and we also converged on the Christian Bookshop - which is crammed full of resources (minus Nooma)!

I haven't been to Southend for years, so wandering around was exciting for me and trying to concentrate on what was being said was hard.

Mark reckons I'm still getting a bit of culture shock, I tend to mutter under my breath, so I need to adjust and keep my mouth quiet when I'm wandering around!

So Day Two...Would you like a running total? No? Thought not!

Tomorrow I am going for my first viewing of a flat that I could move into...I'll let you know how it goes!

One more day...

So the weekend went really quickly and this week seems to have done the same...shortly I will be heading for my bed and hoping for some sleep. SOLID made me ill...well, more likely the cut grass and camping did. Going into work on Tuesday morning was a chore, I only lasted two hours and couldn't even get up Wednesday, apparently even though I've now got a nice tan on my face, there was no colour in my skin, so the mums in my office put me back on the bus and I spent most of the next 48 hours in bed.

Thank goodness for chemists - a couple of paracetamol and benadryl later, I'm about 85% ok. I managed work today...I know I'm going in for my last day tomorrow to be greeted by a decorated desk! But this week has gone too quickly and I've not enjoyed it like I thought I would.

Though having said that, we have some very special people in town this week... Youth Life are currently touring the country, dancing and telling their stories. I've met Ilyos before, he spent new year with us, and it was great to spend sometime with him and Vitalik before they leave Billericay to take part in Soul Survivor and other festivals this summer.

I'm already being called to lead groups, which I would expect, I'm also still unaware of what is going to happen much passed Monday morning. I'm going to prayers and having a meeting straight after...and we'll see where we go from there.

Right now, I have some sleep to catch up on and a list to write of who I want to meet and what I want to do. I also have an article to write...

SOLID

Wow...where did the weekend go?

It has gone by in some what of a blur. Friday evening was spent running round like a headless chicken for ten min (so much so that I have mis-placed my phone charger - heres hoping its at work) before Lynn arrived to collect me and my gear for the short trip to Stubbers. We arrived, unloaded the car, put up four tents and ate dinner before the main meeting.

Saturday mornings sleep was interrupted on three occasions - rain, loud teenagers and loud leaders. During the day we sat in the sun and watched the football, listened to some music and avoided getting wet. I've now got a sun burnt face from sitting in the sun all day! I headed back for a catch up sleep and a chance to start the after sun treatment! We had dinner and went to the main meeting, which was intense. I was very proud to see Kate John, my sister's housemate preaching. She's clearly very practiced and a good story teller. It was nice to say hello to her afterwards.

Sunday rolled around after late night drinks and a chance to catch up with some of the girls who had come down for the evening. We packed up in record time, before the rain fell, and despite it only being ten in the morning I now have sun burnt arms to match my face! The final main meeting was a time to celebrate, and share the highs and lows of the weekend. We said goodbye to the young people and got home without any problems.

Overall a good weekend, I've learnt a lot about the young people I was in charge of, about God's grace and his unfailing love for each and everyone of us. I've spent time with some of the people I'm going to be working with for the next couple of years and prayed for healing for many things.

Even when I'm at my most tired, God will bless me in abundance, and give me a glimmer of hope for the future. I'm not a replacement for anyone, I'm creating my own ministry. One thing that keeps hitting me recently is that God hasn't finished yet...this creation thing...its not over by a long way. There's more to be added to the world.

Time to watch Dr Who...

I'm trying to think of something witty to put at the top of this post, to intrigue you...to make you wait in anticipation for the news I have...but alas, my brain has been left in front of the TV for the day...

Maybe I'll come up with something in the future, and then it'll all seem really weird to a random visitor.

The news, Liz, whats the news?!

Well...I passed my driving test, first time round, so look out for me, I will be coming to a street near you soon...when I've got a car, and when I've completed my pass plus, I'll be on the motorway...

I'm not over it yet, see I have no car to drive across town in, as my parents are away for the week, so no opportunity to get in the car and just drive :( It won't sink in for a while.

I've got Solid to do before I can get in a car on my own! I've read the magazine and understand that I am now in a probation period for two years (my license will be revoked without appeal if I get more than 6 points on it), I've also got to get my name on the insurance, and I've got to carry my passport around for a few weeks...now that I have a shiny blue certificate instead of a green photo card.

My examiner was lovely, my observation was the cause of the minors that crept in, and Jeff was absolutely thrilled that I got it first time out.

So where from here? Buy a car, move out and work my socks off!!

Saying Goodbye

Not a lot has been going on recently...we're heading quickly towards the SOLID youth festival, which means that there will be at least one weekend in the years to come where little or no sleep is the only option. I'm looking forward to it, I'm a leader, as well as a member of the prayer ministry team, so something is bound to happen during the weekend...a chance for me to find out about the young people who will be a part of my life, to chat to other youth leaders and find out what is going on in the diocese and Essex, so that I can start my full time job with the right attitude and support.

Before then though is Wednesday, a big day for two reasons - its driving test day and I'm going back to The Barn for a chat about a weekend away that I'm doing at the end of July. I'm scared about both. I haven't been to the Barn since I finished volunteering with Viz-a-Viz and obviously, passing my test before I hit 24 is a BIG goal, so hopefully theres enough time of me to do exactly that.

At the moment I'm on my own, my parents and male siblings are away on holiday (Kent and Costa Rica respectively) so I've got an empty house to look after and a bus or two to catch for my journey into work. So I spent all of yesterday preparing for the week ahead, shopping and cooking...planning is a God send, as are freezers and fridges!

I do enjoy living on my own, but finding somewhere to do just that is proving difficult. Billericay is an expensive place to live right now. So I'm praying for somewhere to live and for my patience too.

I'm looking forward to starting a new job, I'm worried about leaving the old one though. I've had several people phone me and ask why my name isn't on the list for the new teams (the office is changing again), I've had to tell them that I'm going on to something else...I have never met these people, if they crossed me in the street I would be unaware of their presence, but they are all shocked that I'm leaving. For some reason they enjoy workng with me...the last ten months has been a curve...I'm going to keep saying that I'm going to miss working with a team 8 hours of the day, dreading working on my own and that I have memories of all these people, when it was hard and when it's been funny.

But God has been there every step of the way!!

Blogging at work...

I am only doing this cos I have 30 mins to kill before we set out for the Race for Business.

I guess I am also doing it because I have some important news to share with you.

I'm leaving the Council on 11th July to become a full time youth worker at Christ Church.

Sorry for the horrible silence for the past couple of weeks, but everything has been building up to it, and various other things have happened too.

Though mainly thoughts of an interview and a potentially uncertain future were holding me back from laying anything down, both in writing and personally.

So I have spent a lot of time keeping this under my belt, trying not to step on peoples toes, yet feeling encouraged at the same time that God has a plan and I was able to be totally honest with my colleagues at the council...

Well, I didn't get to post before the Race For Business...I did 3.5 miles in under 50 mins, which is ok for someone who does very little exercise. I am suffering for it this morning though!

This morning our system is down for an upgrade, so we can't do very much...I guess I'll spend my time thinking about whats ahead of me and start to think about where I'm going to live and what I can do during the hand over period, I also have to think about leaving cakes and a 'do' of some sort...

I am scared, I will have to take my time to get used to this and I have to realise that I can not do everything on my own, nor do I already know everything...another learning curve, just when this one had levelled out a bit too!

I love it, I know I'm going to enjoy it, and I know that I'm going to miss working in a team that has felt like a family, despite all the changes, over the last 8 months...

Pondering...

I've just flicked through a few of the blogs by clicking the 'next blog' button at the top of the screen, and come across some unusual snippets of people's lives and I have realised that people use blogs for everything. I'm sure I've ranted about this before, but I can't help thinking about how many bloggers there are in the world and which ones are the most popular, and which ones get read by just close friends and family. It's amazing what people observe and what is most important in their lives.

Right now, mine is a potential job move, and what's going on down the road. Sadly another ambulance has been called into the street (there was one to greet me as I walked to the bus a couple of weeks ago), causing both my brothers an unusual amount of caution as they go down our incredibly straight road. I don't think I know the people that live in the house the ambulance is sat outside of, but I do worry for their well being.

The world does depress me sometimes, reading my sister's most recent blog, about violent crime amongst young girls, is deeply disturbing, and seeing the state of the housing market and the education system in the current climate makes me think about whether bringing children into this world is a good idea, and further from home, the news sends us pictures every day of the devastation in China and Burma. I can't imagine that any grief I've ever felt in my life comes anywhere near to just one person's in those countries.

Of course I live in hope (but feel powerless because politics passes me by) that it will get better, if only slightly, in the future. I can only pray, because, as I read in an email that was sent round the office this morning, 'all we have is God'. When all is said and done, God is my steadfast, the one thing in my life that never changes and the one thing that keeps me going...The belief that I am loved, even when the world lacks it.

The rest of the week

After the explosion on Wednesday, we had several little 'blips' on Thursday, with the power going out for a very short time, leaving us to reboot our computers and hope that everything would be normal when we logged in. Sadly that was not the case...one of the main servers went down and left us with no email capabilities for a whole afternoon. We were also told to be very careful about how we use our system that keeps track of the financial side of things...so I found it difficult to do my job, and I'd completely exhausted myself the day before, because a centre decided to set up a parents group and not tell us until the afternoon before that transport was needed...unfortunately it takes longer than writing an email to set up transport.

I think I'm going to push for a job swap day...that could be interesting!

On other things, I have recovered from my lack of sleep last weekend, I have had a phone call about various aspects of a potential career move, including a green light to apply for a MA, I've also fallen in love with Scouting for Girls...and out of love with Girls Aloud. I'm also waiting for the new Patricia Cornwell novel...

Right, time to put suncream on, shut all the windows and prepare for my driving lesson.

P.S. The evolution of birds is in a bad way when wood pigeons decide to walk everywhere.

Plunged into darkness

Essex County Council lost power for abut 50 mins today, due to an explosion of a sub station at the ARU in Chelmsford. Which meant that the afternoon was severely disrupted by finding out what had actually happened and keeping a check on all the different forms of public transport that the team use to get home.

Fair to say it's probably one of the more interesting things to happen during my time as a temp...especially the looks on everyones faces as I replied to the 'Liz, we've lost everything' as I came back from lunch... 'Yeah...have you not seen the huge black plume of smoke over by ARU?'.

Our view was blocked by buildings, but being three/four stories up means there's a lot you can see. The police helicopter (which my line-manager thought was an air ambulance) , obviously the smoke, and all the people who rushed to get lunch when the power came back on.

Sadly one person died in the explosion. And over 8000 people were evacuated from ARU.

Back to work tomorrow, hoping that everything is back online.

Not getting any sleep...

Last night we went out, as a group of ladies, looking for a good time, we found it, in Bas Vegas of all places. Sadly no photos, but we had fun.

The problem I have is that I haven't been able to sleep since 08:30 yesterday morning, a combination of coke, alcohol and doing very little has probably lead me to the place I'm in right now. I'm emotional, over-tired and talking to myself, seriously discussing my options, out loud, in an empty house (though my brother has just pulled up outside, so I'm going to have to stop talking!). Oh and I'm irrational too!

Probably best if I don't write anything...I may well end up writing the life and times of Liz if I continue.

Short and sweet

Just to say hello, and that I haven't forgotten to blog!

Today was punctuated by young Chris joining us for lunch...obviously accompanied by his mother, as he's only 6 months old! Vicki use to work in our team, but is currently on maternity leave. Chris is a very sweet child, very happy and constantly aware of what is going on around him. Needless to say my pass (that gets me into the office) got a bit of a chewing whilst he was sat on my lap.

Everyone was talking about how I'd be 'next', firstly they've have to watch me get married before I even think about children, and I must say I don't think thats going to happen any time soon. I enjoy the company of children, they have a certain - to use a Harold Zidler phrase (Moulin Rouge) - 'wonderment' about them. Every thing is constantly new and enthralling. I must say baby Chris took it all in his stride.

The other bit of new I have to share with you is that I may soon be anchored to the council for another three months. I've been offered a permanent position, so that the team can't lose me at a moments notice. I feel like I've been floating around for a while, knowing that I could've lost my job, so having a contract with the council, rather than with the employment agency (who have not backed me in any way) feels a lot better. I described it to my manager this morning as being able to 'put my feet on the ground so I don't get dizzy and fall over', which I think is quite an accurate description of my life right now.

Time to sleep!

Asking the right questions...

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

This was on my daily bible verses part of my Facebook page...maybe, just maybe, I've been asking with the wrong intentions...

It's from James btw.

Work was hairy today, a lot of raised tempers and things not happening how they should. Plenty of issues, some I'm qualified to deal with, some I simply have very little training in. I'm still on a learning curve, from dealing with the office in general...to social workers...to everything that could possibly go wrong in one day. And I still have to do the regular amount of work that I normally do.

Getting paid peanuts was never going to be fun...

Finding a seat...

Can prove more difficult than you initially think.

I sat down on Friday afternoon, only to find that the bloke who sat next to me had exactly the same seat number on his ticket. The train guard had a little bit of a paddy when we mentioned it to him. 'It's not my fault, what do you expect me to do, you've all got a seat, haven't you?'.

I will not be using thetrainline.com for any future purchases, and will be phoning them tomorrow morning to tell them that they've got some serious problems with their ticket distribution. I expect to have a seat when I'm given a seat number, not to have to feel guilty for sitting in someone else's seat on a packed train.

Anyway, other than that, my weekend in Bristol has been fun, Miss Kay is ill, so I will wish her well (that's what being a teacher does to you!). We went shopping on Friday and Saturday and I've seen a very cool 'under the sea' classroom! Sleeping was the main agenda for the weekend, as well as the odd drink. Sat in the Beaufort, it felt like I'd never been away...and it's always good to see the shock on some people's faces when they realise you're back! Good to see people though...unfortunately I didn't make it to church, but I will do next time I'm there.

Right, I have to go and look for possible courses that I can do as part of my next job.

Being ripped off

Ok, so I'm at work and I'm blogging...all of good reasons I assure you...

One - The system is down and I can't actually do what I'm supposed to do!

Two - I feel I have been ripped off, by thetrainline.com and I want to rant before its too late!

It's been months since I last brought a travel ticket from said website, and last time I felt that it was good value for money, I'm using the 'right' debit card (one without a charge) and I was buying in plenty of time.

This time is a little different, but I don't get some of the charges...I'm paying for insurance - £1 a journey, love it, good idea. I'm paying £0.50p for 'ticket arrangement fee' - I'm guessing this means that they are charging me for going to collect my tickets from the ticket machine. Why? If I'm doing all the work surely they should be paying me...I have to walk to the station, with all my gumph and type in a series of letter/numbers, so that the machine will spit out my tickets...I'm paying £0.50p fpr 'payment card fee'...this is a website, there is no other way to pay for what they are asking for, so surely it should not cost anything...there should not be a fee because I am paying by card...they should factor it into the running cost of the business.

At least I can go and collect my tickets...it's £6.00 for normal postage and £10 for same day delievery.

I feel that someones business is going under...next time I'm buying my tickets well in advance and possibly talking to the staff at Billericay station, if the ticket office is open...

The system is back...back to work I go.

On the hunt...

After today I know I want to move on...It's just know where to start and what to look for thats the problem. I need a qualification if I'm going to work in the public sector or I need a very encouraging church if I'm going to work there...

Oh dear...time to start looking!

Dead to the world

I'm living with a brain that won't allow me to remember new things from one week to the next, so I've had to change it again, because I can not remember for the life of me what I'd written last week!

Another week that has been emotionally and physically draining for all the reasons that I can think of, and for some of the reasons that really should not take anything out of me at all. I guess the question is, how much longer can I keep going? Like this and with all of this...

I'm still praying in earnest that something will come to light soon...I feel like I've got a long way to go right now though...

As the saying goes, "today is Friday, but Sunday's acomin'"

God is doing a lot right now...

A lot can happen in three days, one man changed the world, the curtain was torn and death was beaten...Easter is quickly becoming a time that is very dark for me, a time when I am upset by the smallest things, and consider what lies ahead...

I keep writing about how I'm unsure, how I'm scared, how I know I can't cope, and all of a sudden, in the light of the events, it all becomes real, and all I want to do is be, with no pressure, no work, in emptiness, with an empty head, trying to figure out the path set before me.

But life is knocking on the door, telling me that my fears are irrational, so I step away and put on a brave face.

Dead to the world for different reasons, with one to put our trust in, knowing that this is the way it has got to be.

Sunday is coming...

Working it out...

Ok firstly, I have to mention the work men in the high street again...silly boys trying to move everything on a Friday morning at 8am, again...did they not learn from the first attempt, or are they blind to the world around them. If they'd worked it out, everyone would be happy.

Work this week has been really tough, I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing with my time,the last three months have gone past in a blur...and I'm really tired from it all, and of it all. I want to get out, but they may chuck me out before I get the chance to walk. We'll see, the end of March is the testing ground. Argh...

As for the rest of life, things are still really hard to understand, like why has it taken me this long to realise that I can't do things on my own any more. Sunday night we were in Luton seeing Karen, and we went to church, to St Mary's to see what it was like. I do love St Mary's, I've alway felt like its a church I could worship in forever, and I always have an experience of God and God's love for the lost when I'm there. This time was no different, and in so many ways it was the most different experience I've had of God, ever. Some of my friend had joined us for the journey and their experience of church is different, so I was a little worried that they wouldn't enjoy it. That feeling soon went out of the window. The sermon didn't hit me...but the words of the final song did...'I surrender'. I had to give up, not my possessions or my life, but the feeling that everything was alright, the brave face I've been putting on had to go. So I let go, and God moved me, I've got a long way to go, and I'm not alright, I'm very much standing alone.

God's carrying me, and taking me towards something that I'm frightened of, so frightened I can't see where I'm going.

I'm praying hard...and hoping that I can teach others from this part of my life.

Alpha Vision Day at HTB

Yesterday a small group from Christ Church spent the day at Holy Trinity Brompton, the birth place of the Alpha material.

Alpha is a very special course designed to allow everyone a chance to discover Christianity. If you've never heard of Alpha, click a link, you'll find some information.

The day was amazing, well run, full of smiling faces and lively worship. It's always going to be an interesting experience when you attend the largest church in Britain.

HTB has been on my radar for some time,friend in Bristol have spoken about it and I've heard of it through Alpha and various other avenues.

It was a good day, only a small amount of disappointment, but God really worked and the three things I really have to share from the day are:

Pray - over all things and all of the time, prayer only works when you use it.
Get together - the testimonies of all the churches that have got together to run Alpha will always be stronger than those who try to run groups alone
God loves me even when I'm weird - It doesn't matter what others think, no-one can put me down, they don't know me or love me as much as God does.

I also saw my old Chaplin from Uni, Pete, that put a smile on my face from the moment we stepped in the door. I haven't seen him for over two years and he's as affirming as ever!

Watching the work...

Particularly the men who have invaded my high street and made getting the bus in the morning a mini nightmare...This morning reached new proportions of silliness because they have decided to move into the road and traffic light it! As if the high street wasn't bad enough already, they've put temporary lights straight after a set of permanent ones! Funny to watch, nightmare to drive through, something I have to walk past every day...yes they have moved the bus stop, so no shelter over our heads if its raining, and from where I stand I can not see the board for the estimated arrival time of the bus, because its obscured by (wait for it) the original bus stop! Yet it gets funnier (sarcastic mood tonight!) they put the traffic lights up at 8am this morning, not the busiest time, but not the quietest either...it made my bus late and will back up the traffic for the duration of their stay...

But they are employed by Essex County Council...so I can't say much else, seeing my department name before I even get into work hurts a little!

Moving on...driving is going well, reversing around a corner will start in my first hour and a half lesson on wednesday...I'm steadily improving and I'm starting to push towards getting ready for my test (I do just want to drive on my own right now, I could do with taking some time out) , which means my dear Dad is going to have to spend more time sat next to me in the car.
They want to centralise the test centre to a ridiculous site in Basildon, which no-one is happy about, so I want to get my test done in Brentwood before that happens!

Bacvk to work...

Oh to blog...

And avoid what I actually should be doing when the house is nearly empty and very quiet.

I've been watching the sun set for the vange point of the office. Google maps (and what my parents have reliably informed me) I can see most of Brentwood and some of the outskirts of Basildon. I can also see a church (!) and a lot of green. I do love this view, I could sit here all day and watch it change, but then I would never get paid and would never do any exercise. I've watched all the children disappear as the sun does and my hands have gotten colder as the night air becomes freezing. Its a shame a camera can't see what my eyes see, I'd love to show you all!!

Anyway, I'd best get on with the task that I'm meant to be doing...

Something to do...

...to fill the time before I'm 'back'.

Today I have been filing, sorting piles of paper into number order and then putting them in the corroect place. The rest of the time when I don't need to think, we've been thinking about which famous people we would replace the team with. Some interesting choices for who would sit where! Rob's leaving on Friday, so he's filling the time but distracting the rest of us!

Back to work...

2 in one day...

I was chatting with my sister and I kinda stuck around to have a bit of a browse - which I don't normally do, and it's made me angry...

Not very angry, but I'm a little upset that in 5 mins of pressing Next Blog (please do not attempt this until after you have read the rest of what I'm going to say!) at the top of the page, I came across no fewer than 4 websites dedicated to showing a person's design capabilities. Now I know that this is a free site and people mainly blog to keep others updated, but actually drumming up business? Shame on you...I feel that takes horrible advantage of a free, very well run service...

I'm going to bed, to get warm again!

Long time, no post...

It's been ages I know, but life has been hectic!

For those of you who aren't on Facebook, I passed my Theory Test, thankfully and with an overwhelming relief (I clearly gave up with revision towards the end!), so now I can go on to practicing for passing the practical - eek - parallel parking and the like!

Also my talk went very well, I enjoyed it a lot, and now I have to think about leading a service too! But thats not until 18th May, so plenty of time!

I've been struck recently with the notion that God is in control of everything, even when I'm not sure of the future or even the present sometimes. I'm realising that so much of what I am is purely down to how God has worked through me. 'Who I am' is 23 years old and God knows that this moment of my life is full of errant feelings and difficult decisions. Far from being scary or overwhelming, it's a comfort and I'm slowly working my way back to letting Him be in charge, because, after all of this, He still knows more about me than I ever will - so who better to put my trust in.

Psalm 139 has fallen in to my lap more than once this week and the power of the verses astound me every time. Never shocking or meant in a mean way, its a wonderful piece of poetry - read it - on your own, in silence!