The Oast Houses

You're gonna have to type the title of this blog into Google to see where I stayed this weekend. I can't figure out how to make it link to another web page! Of course the pictures don't do it justice, and I didn't take any of my own because I forgot my camera and was working all weekend!

I spent my time with 3 other volunteers, who were happy enough to spend the weekend with 14 children, all of whom were well behaved and extremely excited by the thought of jumping on a couple of new faces. It was a fulfilling weekend and not as tiring as most weekends that I've found myself on recently.

I also spent some time in Rye, which is a very steep town, about 20 mins from where we were staying. I found some really nice fudge (which promptly went in the fridge when I got back!) and some good ice cream too...sadly I watched the bowls for a bit and read the paper before going back for dinner and a show of all the talent in the church.

South Green Baptist Church is a brilliant family, a good mix of young and old, all helping each other and welcoming to new faces. I loved the weekend, the right level of relaxing and working for me, time to switch off and time for teaching.

So back to work, and on my own too now, well not entirely, but everyone seems to be away this week or doing intense events (holiday bible club etc) so I have to find something to fill the time! I've got a lot of things that I need to do, like creating spread sheets and documents that will make it easy for me to keep track of time and money spent, looking at the next term and finding outwhats happening, so that I can plan effectively, keeping people in the loop and checking various bits of information to make sure it's correct.

I was given a book by Paul, who is our new team rector, as a 'welcome' present, which I'm going to digest over the summer, so I'll let you know what comes out of that and how my ideas form.

One problem I do have is that I really can't move my youth work 'stuff' (books, bibles, resources etc) until after all the work on the church and my office has been completed, so I am a little less focussed, as well as not having a laptop (shortly to be resolved) to put all of my work on. It'll make for a very interesting start to the academic year...it could feel a little rushed and last minute, but hopefuly not. Here's praying for guidance and focus.

To view or not to view

I decided not to go for the flat that I veiwed last week. It's a little too small and too expensive. So we keep praying...a house share is looking like a better option, but at the moment I'm holding off on that.

This week has been interesting so far. A good friend of mine is back from his job for a couple of months, so having him around will be nice, he's always welcome and up for doing random things.

I am officially a member of the Billericay and Little Bursted Ministry, having signed my contract yesterday evening at Paul's, there's a huge sense of the word 'team' at the moment, at what it means to be in a ministry that covers a wide area. It looks like there's a lot going on that we don't know about as a team and communication is key! It's all exciting though, I'm going to be visiting the youth groups and seeing how we can use our resources effectively...

The rest of the time has been spent in school (going back into Billericay as a staff member is weird) and preparing for the weekend away with South Green Baptist Church. I'm becoming a children's worker for the weekend, along with three other VaV volunteers (some ex, some current) so it should be a lot of fun...If I can get over the illness that I'm feeling right now. I think a lot of sleep needs to be put in my diary for the next couple of days...

I've been told of the importance of taking time out and booking retreat days, before the work starts coming in. I also need to take time out to study and pray. So discipline comes back into my life in a big way and I have to make sure I stick to it!

God what are you doing in this place?

We've come so far...

...and we've reached so high...and we're still so young and we hope for more.

I could go on...and on. If you know the lyric, you'll know the band and you'll have probably heard of the musical. If you're like me, you'll have sung the rest of the song by now and remembered how the musical ends.

I had a brilliant time on Friday night, with Karen in London, seeing Never Forget...it was great to see all the old songs from Take That re-worked but still sing-a-long-able*. I enjoyed almost every part of the night, the only thing I'm suffering for is not wearing comfortable shoes. I have blisters all over my feet...and I'm never walking across London again! It was good to see some friends and family, drinking in a bar near Farringdon.

The photos from the night are on Facebook and if you keep looking you'll also find photos of the main summer event that was held by EVO this weekend.

We had a BBQ, lots of music and a bouncy castle to keep the kids (and adults) entertained. We raised £165 for Little Havens Childrens Hospice (a local charity that looks after children) at the same time. I had so much fun during the day and on into the evening. I thought it would be stressful and really difficult, but God had it all under control and we invited people into the church who were new, which is alway good fun. Enid had spoken at the 8am service about welcoming people into church, and we did just that. It was an ideal event, and we're looking at doing it next year.

I have to write an article or two as well as preparing for the weekend away that's coming up (I've really not got my head around being away for this weekend yet). So back to work!

*it's the only way to describle it - I know its not a word!

Day Two

This youth work malarky is good fun...I spent most of the afternoon drinking OJ and chatting about exciting events in the Bradwell Area, with Mark and a few others in Southend and we also converged on the Christian Bookshop - which is crammed full of resources (minus Nooma)!

I haven't been to Southend for years, so wandering around was exciting for me and trying to concentrate on what was being said was hard.

Mark reckons I'm still getting a bit of culture shock, I tend to mutter under my breath, so I need to adjust and keep my mouth quiet when I'm wandering around!

So Day Two...Would you like a running total? No? Thought not!

Tomorrow I am going for my first viewing of a flat that I could move into...I'll let you know how it goes!

One more day...

So the weekend went really quickly and this week seems to have done the same...shortly I will be heading for my bed and hoping for some sleep. SOLID made me ill...well, more likely the cut grass and camping did. Going into work on Tuesday morning was a chore, I only lasted two hours and couldn't even get up Wednesday, apparently even though I've now got a nice tan on my face, there was no colour in my skin, so the mums in my office put me back on the bus and I spent most of the next 48 hours in bed.

Thank goodness for chemists - a couple of paracetamol and benadryl later, I'm about 85% ok. I managed work today...I know I'm going in for my last day tomorrow to be greeted by a decorated desk! But this week has gone too quickly and I've not enjoyed it like I thought I would.

Though having said that, we have some very special people in town this week... Youth Life are currently touring the country, dancing and telling their stories. I've met Ilyos before, he spent new year with us, and it was great to spend sometime with him and Vitalik before they leave Billericay to take part in Soul Survivor and other festivals this summer.

I'm already being called to lead groups, which I would expect, I'm also still unaware of what is going to happen much passed Monday morning. I'm going to prayers and having a meeting straight after...and we'll see where we go from there.

Right now, I have some sleep to catch up on and a list to write of who I want to meet and what I want to do. I also have an article to write...

SOLID

Wow...where did the weekend go?

It has gone by in some what of a blur. Friday evening was spent running round like a headless chicken for ten min (so much so that I have mis-placed my phone charger - heres hoping its at work) before Lynn arrived to collect me and my gear for the short trip to Stubbers. We arrived, unloaded the car, put up four tents and ate dinner before the main meeting.

Saturday mornings sleep was interrupted on three occasions - rain, loud teenagers and loud leaders. During the day we sat in the sun and watched the football, listened to some music and avoided getting wet. I've now got a sun burnt face from sitting in the sun all day! I headed back for a catch up sleep and a chance to start the after sun treatment! We had dinner and went to the main meeting, which was intense. I was very proud to see Kate John, my sister's housemate preaching. She's clearly very practiced and a good story teller. It was nice to say hello to her afterwards.

Sunday rolled around after late night drinks and a chance to catch up with some of the girls who had come down for the evening. We packed up in record time, before the rain fell, and despite it only being ten in the morning I now have sun burnt arms to match my face! The final main meeting was a time to celebrate, and share the highs and lows of the weekend. We said goodbye to the young people and got home without any problems.

Overall a good weekend, I've learnt a lot about the young people I was in charge of, about God's grace and his unfailing love for each and everyone of us. I've spent time with some of the people I'm going to be working with for the next couple of years and prayed for healing for many things.

Even when I'm at my most tired, God will bless me in abundance, and give me a glimmer of hope for the future. I'm not a replacement for anyone, I'm creating my own ministry. One thing that keeps hitting me recently is that God hasn't finished yet...this creation thing...its not over by a long way. There's more to be added to the world.

Time to watch Dr Who...

I'm trying to think of something witty to put at the top of this post, to intrigue you...to make you wait in anticipation for the news I have...but alas, my brain has been left in front of the TV for the day...

Maybe I'll come up with something in the future, and then it'll all seem really weird to a random visitor.

The news, Liz, whats the news?!

Well...I passed my driving test, first time round, so look out for me, I will be coming to a street near you soon...when I've got a car, and when I've completed my pass plus, I'll be on the motorway...

I'm not over it yet, see I have no car to drive across town in, as my parents are away for the week, so no opportunity to get in the car and just drive :( It won't sink in for a while.

I've got Solid to do before I can get in a car on my own! I've read the magazine and understand that I am now in a probation period for two years (my license will be revoked without appeal if I get more than 6 points on it), I've also got to get my name on the insurance, and I've got to carry my passport around for a few weeks...now that I have a shiny blue certificate instead of a green photo card.

My examiner was lovely, my observation was the cause of the minors that crept in, and Jeff was absolutely thrilled that I got it first time out.

So where from here? Buy a car, move out and work my socks off!!

Saying Goodbye

Not a lot has been going on recently...we're heading quickly towards the SOLID youth festival, which means that there will be at least one weekend in the years to come where little or no sleep is the only option. I'm looking forward to it, I'm a leader, as well as a member of the prayer ministry team, so something is bound to happen during the weekend...a chance for me to find out about the young people who will be a part of my life, to chat to other youth leaders and find out what is going on in the diocese and Essex, so that I can start my full time job with the right attitude and support.

Before then though is Wednesday, a big day for two reasons - its driving test day and I'm going back to The Barn for a chat about a weekend away that I'm doing at the end of July. I'm scared about both. I haven't been to the Barn since I finished volunteering with Viz-a-Viz and obviously, passing my test before I hit 24 is a BIG goal, so hopefully theres enough time of me to do exactly that.

At the moment I'm on my own, my parents and male siblings are away on holiday (Kent and Costa Rica respectively) so I've got an empty house to look after and a bus or two to catch for my journey into work. So I spent all of yesterday preparing for the week ahead, shopping and cooking...planning is a God send, as are freezers and fridges!

I do enjoy living on my own, but finding somewhere to do just that is proving difficult. Billericay is an expensive place to live right now. So I'm praying for somewhere to live and for my patience too.

I'm looking forward to starting a new job, I'm worried about leaving the old one though. I've had several people phone me and ask why my name isn't on the list for the new teams (the office is changing again), I've had to tell them that I'm going on to something else...I have never met these people, if they crossed me in the street I would be unaware of their presence, but they are all shocked that I'm leaving. For some reason they enjoy workng with me...the last ten months has been a curve...I'm going to keep saying that I'm going to miss working with a team 8 hours of the day, dreading working on my own and that I have memories of all these people, when it was hard and when it's been funny.

But God has been there every step of the way!!

Blogging at work...

I am only doing this cos I have 30 mins to kill before we set out for the Race for Business.

I guess I am also doing it because I have some important news to share with you.

I'm leaving the Council on 11th July to become a full time youth worker at Christ Church.

Sorry for the horrible silence for the past couple of weeks, but everything has been building up to it, and various other things have happened too.

Though mainly thoughts of an interview and a potentially uncertain future were holding me back from laying anything down, both in writing and personally.

So I have spent a lot of time keeping this under my belt, trying not to step on peoples toes, yet feeling encouraged at the same time that God has a plan and I was able to be totally honest with my colleagues at the council...

Well, I didn't get to post before the Race For Business...I did 3.5 miles in under 50 mins, which is ok for someone who does very little exercise. I am suffering for it this morning though!

This morning our system is down for an upgrade, so we can't do very much...I guess I'll spend my time thinking about whats ahead of me and start to think about where I'm going to live and what I can do during the hand over period, I also have to think about leaving cakes and a 'do' of some sort...

I am scared, I will have to take my time to get used to this and I have to realise that I can not do everything on my own, nor do I already know everything...another learning curve, just when this one had levelled out a bit too!

I love it, I know I'm going to enjoy it, and I know that I'm going to miss working in a team that has felt like a family, despite all the changes, over the last 8 months...

Pondering...

I've just flicked through a few of the blogs by clicking the 'next blog' button at the top of the screen, and come across some unusual snippets of people's lives and I have realised that people use blogs for everything. I'm sure I've ranted about this before, but I can't help thinking about how many bloggers there are in the world and which ones are the most popular, and which ones get read by just close friends and family. It's amazing what people observe and what is most important in their lives.

Right now, mine is a potential job move, and what's going on down the road. Sadly another ambulance has been called into the street (there was one to greet me as I walked to the bus a couple of weeks ago), causing both my brothers an unusual amount of caution as they go down our incredibly straight road. I don't think I know the people that live in the house the ambulance is sat outside of, but I do worry for their well being.

The world does depress me sometimes, reading my sister's most recent blog, about violent crime amongst young girls, is deeply disturbing, and seeing the state of the housing market and the education system in the current climate makes me think about whether bringing children into this world is a good idea, and further from home, the news sends us pictures every day of the devastation in China and Burma. I can't imagine that any grief I've ever felt in my life comes anywhere near to just one person's in those countries.

Of course I live in hope (but feel powerless because politics passes me by) that it will get better, if only slightly, in the future. I can only pray, because, as I read in an email that was sent round the office this morning, 'all we have is God'. When all is said and done, God is my steadfast, the one thing in my life that never changes and the one thing that keeps me going...The belief that I am loved, even when the world lacks it.

The rest of the week

After the explosion on Wednesday, we had several little 'blips' on Thursday, with the power going out for a very short time, leaving us to reboot our computers and hope that everything would be normal when we logged in. Sadly that was not the case...one of the main servers went down and left us with no email capabilities for a whole afternoon. We were also told to be very careful about how we use our system that keeps track of the financial side of things...so I found it difficult to do my job, and I'd completely exhausted myself the day before, because a centre decided to set up a parents group and not tell us until the afternoon before that transport was needed...unfortunately it takes longer than writing an email to set up transport.

I think I'm going to push for a job swap day...that could be interesting!

On other things, I have recovered from my lack of sleep last weekend, I have had a phone call about various aspects of a potential career move, including a green light to apply for a MA, I've also fallen in love with Scouting for Girls...and out of love with Girls Aloud. I'm also waiting for the new Patricia Cornwell novel...

Right, time to put suncream on, shut all the windows and prepare for my driving lesson.

P.S. The evolution of birds is in a bad way when wood pigeons decide to walk everywhere.

Plunged into darkness

Essex County Council lost power for abut 50 mins today, due to an explosion of a sub station at the ARU in Chelmsford. Which meant that the afternoon was severely disrupted by finding out what had actually happened and keeping a check on all the different forms of public transport that the team use to get home.

Fair to say it's probably one of the more interesting things to happen during my time as a temp...especially the looks on everyones faces as I replied to the 'Liz, we've lost everything' as I came back from lunch... 'Yeah...have you not seen the huge black plume of smoke over by ARU?'.

Our view was blocked by buildings, but being three/four stories up means there's a lot you can see. The police helicopter (which my line-manager thought was an air ambulance) , obviously the smoke, and all the people who rushed to get lunch when the power came back on.

Sadly one person died in the explosion. And over 8000 people were evacuated from ARU.

Back to work tomorrow, hoping that everything is back online.

Not getting any sleep...

Last night we went out, as a group of ladies, looking for a good time, we found it, in Bas Vegas of all places. Sadly no photos, but we had fun.

The problem I have is that I haven't been able to sleep since 08:30 yesterday morning, a combination of coke, alcohol and doing very little has probably lead me to the place I'm in right now. I'm emotional, over-tired and talking to myself, seriously discussing my options, out loud, in an empty house (though my brother has just pulled up outside, so I'm going to have to stop talking!). Oh and I'm irrational too!

Probably best if I don't write anything...I may well end up writing the life and times of Liz if I continue.

Short and sweet

Just to say hello, and that I haven't forgotten to blog!

Today was punctuated by young Chris joining us for lunch...obviously accompanied by his mother, as he's only 6 months old! Vicki use to work in our team, but is currently on maternity leave. Chris is a very sweet child, very happy and constantly aware of what is going on around him. Needless to say my pass (that gets me into the office) got a bit of a chewing whilst he was sat on my lap.

Everyone was talking about how I'd be 'next', firstly they've have to watch me get married before I even think about children, and I must say I don't think thats going to happen any time soon. I enjoy the company of children, they have a certain - to use a Harold Zidler phrase (Moulin Rouge) - 'wonderment' about them. Every thing is constantly new and enthralling. I must say baby Chris took it all in his stride.

The other bit of new I have to share with you is that I may soon be anchored to the council for another three months. I've been offered a permanent position, so that the team can't lose me at a moments notice. I feel like I've been floating around for a while, knowing that I could've lost my job, so having a contract with the council, rather than with the employment agency (who have not backed me in any way) feels a lot better. I described it to my manager this morning as being able to 'put my feet on the ground so I don't get dizzy and fall over', which I think is quite an accurate description of my life right now.

Time to sleep!

Asking the right questions...

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

This was on my daily bible verses part of my Facebook page...maybe, just maybe, I've been asking with the wrong intentions...

It's from James btw.

Work was hairy today, a lot of raised tempers and things not happening how they should. Plenty of issues, some I'm qualified to deal with, some I simply have very little training in. I'm still on a learning curve, from dealing with the office in general...to social workers...to everything that could possibly go wrong in one day. And I still have to do the regular amount of work that I normally do.

Getting paid peanuts was never going to be fun...

Finding a seat...

Can prove more difficult than you initially think.

I sat down on Friday afternoon, only to find that the bloke who sat next to me had exactly the same seat number on his ticket. The train guard had a little bit of a paddy when we mentioned it to him. 'It's not my fault, what do you expect me to do, you've all got a seat, haven't you?'.

I will not be using thetrainline.com for any future purchases, and will be phoning them tomorrow morning to tell them that they've got some serious problems with their ticket distribution. I expect to have a seat when I'm given a seat number, not to have to feel guilty for sitting in someone else's seat on a packed train.

Anyway, other than that, my weekend in Bristol has been fun, Miss Kay is ill, so I will wish her well (that's what being a teacher does to you!). We went shopping on Friday and Saturday and I've seen a very cool 'under the sea' classroom! Sleeping was the main agenda for the weekend, as well as the odd drink. Sat in the Beaufort, it felt like I'd never been away...and it's always good to see the shock on some people's faces when they realise you're back! Good to see people though...unfortunately I didn't make it to church, but I will do next time I'm there.

Right, I have to go and look for possible courses that I can do as part of my next job.

Being ripped off

Ok, so I'm at work and I'm blogging...all of good reasons I assure you...

One - The system is down and I can't actually do what I'm supposed to do!

Two - I feel I have been ripped off, by thetrainline.com and I want to rant before its too late!

It's been months since I last brought a travel ticket from said website, and last time I felt that it was good value for money, I'm using the 'right' debit card (one without a charge) and I was buying in plenty of time.

This time is a little different, but I don't get some of the charges...I'm paying for insurance - £1 a journey, love it, good idea. I'm paying £0.50p for 'ticket arrangement fee' - I'm guessing this means that they are charging me for going to collect my tickets from the ticket machine. Why? If I'm doing all the work surely they should be paying me...I have to walk to the station, with all my gumph and type in a series of letter/numbers, so that the machine will spit out my tickets...I'm paying £0.50p fpr 'payment card fee'...this is a website, there is no other way to pay for what they are asking for, so surely it should not cost anything...there should not be a fee because I am paying by card...they should factor it into the running cost of the business.

At least I can go and collect my tickets...it's £6.00 for normal postage and £10 for same day delievery.

I feel that someones business is going under...next time I'm buying my tickets well in advance and possibly talking to the staff at Billericay station, if the ticket office is open...

The system is back...back to work I go.

On the hunt...

After today I know I want to move on...It's just know where to start and what to look for thats the problem. I need a qualification if I'm going to work in the public sector or I need a very encouraging church if I'm going to work there...

Oh dear...time to start looking!

Dead to the world

I'm living with a brain that won't allow me to remember new things from one week to the next, so I've had to change it again, because I can not remember for the life of me what I'd written last week!

Another week that has been emotionally and physically draining for all the reasons that I can think of, and for some of the reasons that really should not take anything out of me at all. I guess the question is, how much longer can I keep going? Like this and with all of this...

I'm still praying in earnest that something will come to light soon...I feel like I've got a long way to go right now though...

As the saying goes, "today is Friday, but Sunday's acomin'"

God is doing a lot right now...

A lot can happen in three days, one man changed the world, the curtain was torn and death was beaten...Easter is quickly becoming a time that is very dark for me, a time when I am upset by the smallest things, and consider what lies ahead...

I keep writing about how I'm unsure, how I'm scared, how I know I can't cope, and all of a sudden, in the light of the events, it all becomes real, and all I want to do is be, with no pressure, no work, in emptiness, with an empty head, trying to figure out the path set before me.

But life is knocking on the door, telling me that my fears are irrational, so I step away and put on a brave face.

Dead to the world for different reasons, with one to put our trust in, knowing that this is the way it has got to be.

Sunday is coming...

Working it out...

Ok firstly, I have to mention the work men in the high street again...silly boys trying to move everything on a Friday morning at 8am, again...did they not learn from the first attempt, or are they blind to the world around them. If they'd worked it out, everyone would be happy.

Work this week has been really tough, I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing with my time,the last three months have gone past in a blur...and I'm really tired from it all, and of it all. I want to get out, but they may chuck me out before I get the chance to walk. We'll see, the end of March is the testing ground. Argh...

As for the rest of life, things are still really hard to understand, like why has it taken me this long to realise that I can't do things on my own any more. Sunday night we were in Luton seeing Karen, and we went to church, to St Mary's to see what it was like. I do love St Mary's, I've alway felt like its a church I could worship in forever, and I always have an experience of God and God's love for the lost when I'm there. This time was no different, and in so many ways it was the most different experience I've had of God, ever. Some of my friend had joined us for the journey and their experience of church is different, so I was a little worried that they wouldn't enjoy it. That feeling soon went out of the window. The sermon didn't hit me...but the words of the final song did...'I surrender'. I had to give up, not my possessions or my life, but the feeling that everything was alright, the brave face I've been putting on had to go. So I let go, and God moved me, I've got a long way to go, and I'm not alright, I'm very much standing alone.

God's carrying me, and taking me towards something that I'm frightened of, so frightened I can't see where I'm going.

I'm praying hard...and hoping that I can teach others from this part of my life.

Alpha Vision Day at HTB

Yesterday a small group from Christ Church spent the day at Holy Trinity Brompton, the birth place of the Alpha material.

Alpha is a very special course designed to allow everyone a chance to discover Christianity. If you've never heard of Alpha, click a link, you'll find some information.

The day was amazing, well run, full of smiling faces and lively worship. It's always going to be an interesting experience when you attend the largest church in Britain.

HTB has been on my radar for some time,friend in Bristol have spoken about it and I've heard of it through Alpha and various other avenues.

It was a good day, only a small amount of disappointment, but God really worked and the three things I really have to share from the day are:

Pray - over all things and all of the time, prayer only works when you use it.
Get together - the testimonies of all the churches that have got together to run Alpha will always be stronger than those who try to run groups alone
God loves me even when I'm weird - It doesn't matter what others think, no-one can put me down, they don't know me or love me as much as God does.

I also saw my old Chaplin from Uni, Pete, that put a smile on my face from the moment we stepped in the door. I haven't seen him for over two years and he's as affirming as ever!

Watching the work...

Particularly the men who have invaded my high street and made getting the bus in the morning a mini nightmare...This morning reached new proportions of silliness because they have decided to move into the road and traffic light it! As if the high street wasn't bad enough already, they've put temporary lights straight after a set of permanent ones! Funny to watch, nightmare to drive through, something I have to walk past every day...yes they have moved the bus stop, so no shelter over our heads if its raining, and from where I stand I can not see the board for the estimated arrival time of the bus, because its obscured by (wait for it) the original bus stop! Yet it gets funnier (sarcastic mood tonight!) they put the traffic lights up at 8am this morning, not the busiest time, but not the quietest either...it made my bus late and will back up the traffic for the duration of their stay...

But they are employed by Essex County Council...so I can't say much else, seeing my department name before I even get into work hurts a little!

Moving on...driving is going well, reversing around a corner will start in my first hour and a half lesson on wednesday...I'm steadily improving and I'm starting to push towards getting ready for my test (I do just want to drive on my own right now, I could do with taking some time out) , which means my dear Dad is going to have to spend more time sat next to me in the car.
They want to centralise the test centre to a ridiculous site in Basildon, which no-one is happy about, so I want to get my test done in Brentwood before that happens!

Bacvk to work...

Oh to blog...

And avoid what I actually should be doing when the house is nearly empty and very quiet.

I've been watching the sun set for the vange point of the office. Google maps (and what my parents have reliably informed me) I can see most of Brentwood and some of the outskirts of Basildon. I can also see a church (!) and a lot of green. I do love this view, I could sit here all day and watch it change, but then I would never get paid and would never do any exercise. I've watched all the children disappear as the sun does and my hands have gotten colder as the night air becomes freezing. Its a shame a camera can't see what my eyes see, I'd love to show you all!!

Anyway, I'd best get on with the task that I'm meant to be doing...

Something to do...

...to fill the time before I'm 'back'.

Today I have been filing, sorting piles of paper into number order and then putting them in the corroect place. The rest of the time when I don't need to think, we've been thinking about which famous people we would replace the team with. Some interesting choices for who would sit where! Rob's leaving on Friday, so he's filling the time but distracting the rest of us!

Back to work...

2 in one day...

I was chatting with my sister and I kinda stuck around to have a bit of a browse - which I don't normally do, and it's made me angry...

Not very angry, but I'm a little upset that in 5 mins of pressing Next Blog (please do not attempt this until after you have read the rest of what I'm going to say!) at the top of the page, I came across no fewer than 4 websites dedicated to showing a person's design capabilities. Now I know that this is a free site and people mainly blog to keep others updated, but actually drumming up business? Shame on you...I feel that takes horrible advantage of a free, very well run service...

I'm going to bed, to get warm again!

Long time, no post...

It's been ages I know, but life has been hectic!

For those of you who aren't on Facebook, I passed my Theory Test, thankfully and with an overwhelming relief (I clearly gave up with revision towards the end!), so now I can go on to practicing for passing the practical - eek - parallel parking and the like!

Also my talk went very well, I enjoyed it a lot, and now I have to think about leading a service too! But thats not until 18th May, so plenty of time!

I've been struck recently with the notion that God is in control of everything, even when I'm not sure of the future or even the present sometimes. I'm realising that so much of what I am is purely down to how God has worked through me. 'Who I am' is 23 years old and God knows that this moment of my life is full of errant feelings and difficult decisions. Far from being scary or overwhelming, it's a comfort and I'm slowly working my way back to letting Him be in charge, because, after all of this, He still knows more about me than I ever will - so who better to put my trust in.

Psalm 139 has fallen in to my lap more than once this week and the power of the verses astound me every time. Never shocking or meant in a mean way, its a wonderful piece of poetry - read it - on your own, in silence!

That familiar feeling

It's exam time again for me...I'm taking my Theory test on Tuesday...so I'm a little reserved, a little nervous and clenching my teeth again. It's what I do when I'm concentrating, and to pass a hazard perception test you have to concentrate for 14 mins. My problem is that I'm more concerned about where the video was taken than anything else. I can't help but think 'I'm sure I've been here before'!

Needless to say the practice is going well and I'm in pain from concentrating a little too hard!

Work is work at the moment, and thats where I'm leaving it, if you want an explanation, make sure I've got a smile on my face before you brave asking me 'how was your day?'

I'm off to have a look at the torchwood website and see if I can find the episode of CSI the sky box failed to record.

All change...

Do you like?

It took a while to get right...I'm happy with it though...I thought after a year or so of it looking boring, it needed something to set it apart!

In pain...

Physically and emotionally...more so physically right now, don't worry I've not broken anything, but I'm not going to give you any more detail for fear of you all running and hiding.

Emotionally, its been a tough week, a lot has happened, both at work and at home, though I feel its inappropriate to talk about it right now, give it 6 months and it might feel right talking about it. I threw a little paddy on Tuesday, about social workers and life in general...the stress of it all is reaching me a little...and there are various factors making it a lot harder than in needs to be.

Right, I'm off to finish my talk and do all of my printing...Kay is coming down tomorrow, someone who will hold my hand and reassure me.

One question - What do I waer at church on Sunday?

The Talk

I know I'm probably going to make this sound a little bit over dramatic, but

THE TALK IS FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, now all I have to do is try not to change it too much before Sunday (because finished just means 'all of my ideas are in some kind of word order, but not the eventual order I will use') and, of course, practice it. I also have to purchase some surprises and make sure I've done my flash cards too. Sounds all really exciting doesn't it...

My vicar ever so kindly asked if everything was going ok (Thank you Warner, I hope everything goes well for you) and I said 'yes, of course it is! I'm looking forward to it', which isn't actually a lie, this is big for me, but not so scary any more. When I was 18 I was scared, but at 23 I'm only a little nervous. I think it helps that I'm going to be well practiced (reading it on the bus to myself counts as practice!).

So after years and years of just observing (being a singer counts as observing) I'm finally a part of the main service, I'm also on the communion rota and will probably be on the intercessors (praying up the front) rota at some point! All for a reason...

Sad news is that my driving lessons are a little sucky right now...the smoothness of the clutch seems to have disappeared and the poor diesel is whining at me a lot...hopefully I'll get better - and perhaps I'll wear different shoes next time!

Kay is coming to stay this weekend to see my bedroom in its full glory...and to hear me talk (apparently she enjoyed it last time!). Yeay!

Football

For those of you who haven't twigged, I'm an Arsenal fan..and tonight I'm feeling very lucky - post match, which really isn't the sort of luck I thought I'd be feeling.

We were lucky to get a 1-1 scoreline against Tottenham tonight, so shocking play from the youngsters under pressure and I'm really hoping that the second leg of the semi-final is of better quality from Arsenal.

I'm going to be eating my words at work tomorrow, I said we would win and we didn't - we spent nearly 45 mins down a goal to nil.

Bring on the return leg!

New Year

Yes, its a time that we're supposed to feel refreshed and happy that yet another year has passed...

But I guess that Monday morning feeling has already hit me, so I'm not in a jovial mood as I could be.

The new year is always accentuated by my brother's birthday - this year he turned 21, so it's super special. I've been out with his friends to celebrate, and out with close 'family' for lunch. He seemed to enjoy it and thought it was rather tame - until his friends reminded him that they're spending two nights in a hunted wood in Kent. Boy, how I'm praying for all of them and hoping that no-one comes home sick from being out in the cold. They are going to have immense amounts of fun...but I can't help worrying..hence why I'm going to work.

On other things...the pub we ate in on Saturday was alright, but the chocolate pudding didn't taste chocolatey enough and we probably won't go there again - my steak was tough and a few other things weren't up to standard...

Sunday 20th Jan is my chance to show Christ Church what I'm made of and what is going through my head, I'm speaking and I've almost got my talk finished, props are all but printed and the facebook event has been created...check me with my internet know-how! I'm looking forward to it, even if all of my friends are going to be heckling me! I just have to practice and get my ending sorted.

Work tomorrow and the day my line manager comes back from holiday, here's hoping she's happy! (see what I mean about Monday morning!)

I'm really easy to get along with...

...once you learn to worship me.

In so many ways its wrong...but at the same time I love it. It proves how ultimately self obsessed the western world is and makes you wonder who's likely to say it in a normal conversation (I'm thinking Jane from Coupling).

On with work, no-one is here and its skeleton staff across the county, so I'm very happy, but finding it hard to focus...I need a nap...

Ah ha!

Here's that nano second I was talking about...

First of all let me mention Maroon 5...


and Dashboard Confessional (though no photo sadly). How amazing! I really enjoyed the entire evening, thanks to Chris and Karen for drinking my beer for me, here's a photo for your troubles...


This is becoming a photo blog...

What's next on the list?

Cheltenham, a weekend with the girls, out celebrating a birthday. Smashing glasses, flavoured vodka shots, and dancing til my feet hurt. I really enjoyed catching up with everyone, hopefully there will be another weekend soon!


And finally...

Bristol, Stoke Gifford, St Michael's Church - always fun and somewhere I miss so much! Lots is happening in the church currently and the new vicar has found his feet very quickly, he even served dinner at the banquet, which was great to see. Everyone is happy and all of the events I went to ran smoothly! Muchos impressed, looking forward to seeing you all again! (yes I've already been invited back!)

Looking great ladies! Thanks once again to The Smiths who had to put up with me for the weekend (Kay, I will bring slippers next time).

I'm off to bed and praying that work isn't too bad tomorrow, though I might get the extra early bus to help with the workload. Me thinks I'm going to be ill for Christmas!

Apologies

I'm going to blog at some point, when I've got a spare nano second or two. Sorry...

I have been very busy at work, social workers do not understand the concept of 'as soon as you know'.

Bristol was amazing as always...looking forward to seeing the Banquet photos!

Off to Makro (yeay) to buy some supplies for the youth group!

New Look

So this is how I look now, and will do for a few months maybe! Do you like?

Just quickly, the driving is going well, steady progress towards getting my test done. I've jst got to focus on getting the theory sorted!

I'm cold, so I'm going downstairs to warm up!

At work...

Only briefly...the system is down and I'm bored. There is very little to do when this happens, and obviously people's minds wander and temps go missing for a while.

So I've been saving files and looking occupied for the last couple of hours. Joy!

More later on in the week, when hopefully I will have pictures of my new hair style (not just a cut!) and will let you know how the driving is going...

Well, well, well...

...a hole in the ground!

Which is precisely where the whole of the England team should be hiding tonight, after an absolutely dismal performance against Croatia.

I think my Mum is right when she says everyone thinks we have the right to be in any football competition, just because we're English (and, if you believe some people, because we practically invented sport). We don't and we need to work harder, with more passion and a belief that we can win, not that it should all be automatic (after all who wants to watch a team who are so big headed they think they can play in their sleep?).

Heads will roll.

So while I'm ripping some CD's to put on my new MP3 player, I'll update you on life.

Work is going really well, I'm balancing stress and happiness quite well, we're only 3 team members down at the moment, and things could be a lot worse. We've had a new temp join us and as we head towards Christmas I'm happy that the hours I'm doing will buy some nice presents!

Work is pretty much all-consuming right now. The new youth group kicked off last week with some success, so I'm happy with that. I'm also volunteering at a school during Friday lunchtimes (ah ha a chance to get out of the office!) which is good fun.

My room is 99% done, just a clock and some pictures to put up, and a bookcase to purchase!

This weekend I'm going to see Phantom of the Opera for a special friend's birthday and last weekend I spent time with my old housemates (which made me ill!). Only one piece of news that has upset me this week - a friend who I thought was going to be around for Christmas and New Year has decided to stay where he is for a little longer...Good for him, I do miss him though!

Right, I'm on my last CD!

Beautifully done...

The (almost) finished article! Doesn't it look amazing? Shortly after this photo was taken both of my brothers decided to dive on to the bed.

There are many people to thank for the look of this room - my Mum, who provided support in the form of edge painting, cleaning, new bedding and most importantly lunch on Saturday, my Dad, who filled in all the cracks, built the bed and gave advice, Mandy and Rob who did all of the painting, and my sister for allowing me to have a double bed (cos it wouldn't look right with a single!).

I love it, I can't believe its real and the mattress I'm now sleeping on has made my back problems easier to deal with. Now all I have to worry about is which side I sleep on.

There is a little more to do, you can't see it, but my Dad has helpfully pointed out that I need to finish the window surround and the sill (one coat of gloss and two coats of bright pink). Thats a job for Monday of next week, right now I need to recover from a sore throat.

Oi Vey!

What a busy time I'm having!

Last weekend I was taking part in Slum Survivor at the Billericay Baptist Church.
We were raising awareness and money for those who live in slums around the world, in worse conditions than we actually stayed in.
If you'd like to give some money, click on the widget!




We had a guy from CVII come and tell us about his work in Columbia, working with street children. Some of the stories are actually quite shocking, particularly the way the police treat small children. I was actually really shaken by all of them and can't imagine how anyone can treat a child like that. So I'm praying about what I should do.

The rest of my time has been spent preparing my room for some painting. It's going to be pink by the end of the weekend and hopefully with a new bed, which is arriving tomorrow. I've got some help from some very good friend of mine, so fingers crossed, we'll have lots done by the time we have to leave for the fireworks on Saturday evening! Because if we don't I'll be sleeping on the floor for another week!

Work continues to please me, I'm actually getting the hang of it now. We're enjoying a lull in the amount of work we're getting right now, my colleague and I seem to be as on top of things as possible, so when an urgent job comes in there's not a lot of panic... I am enjoying it, there have been a few blonde moments, but generally I'm happy.

I'm also going to be doing some volunteering for Envision during Friday lunch times which will greatly help my application for teacher training (when I get round to it) and will also get me out of the office on a Friday for an hour or so.

Life is good at the moment...I'm lacking a little bit of direction, but I'm happy...hopefully once my bedroom is finished I'll be blogging a bit more.

Wondering what to write...

It's been a weekend where a lot has happened but theres not a lot to say really. Kay was here this weekend, which was really good fun - I enjoy seeing her - we're very similar and have a great laugh together. We lost the rugby, which the whole world knows, and we're all very disappointed with. We could've won, but the quality of rugby wasn't world class in my opinion. Watching the game in a pub with no sound and little atmosphere has been the most interesting, I've never concentrated on a game so much.

This morning in church was interesting. I was approached by a lady who is training to be a Reader (just like my Dad) and asked if I would do some flag waving at the front of church. I've never done it before, but decided to give it a go! (Thanks Kay for your opinion before the service!) It was really good fun, and a lot of people commented on it. Now the next task is to teach the children how to flag wave safely!

So on with the working week, I could do with a half term right about now, but thats not going to happen - a chance to take the wallpaper off the walls though this week and chase up my new bed!

In a winning mood...

Oh yes...just a few hours till we find out who England will play in the Rugby Cup Final. I'm losing my voice from all the shouting I did in the last few minutes of yesterdays match. Truth is we need to play better than we have done for this whole tournament next weekend. Obviously there's that to look forward to next weekend...but Kay is also coming to stay, so I get to share the whole experience with her! Yeay!

I'm in a good mood anyway, yesterday was really good fun, despite all of the stress during the week (both from work and certain family members). If you ever need a caterer in the Chelmsford area, I'd totally recommend Select Sandwiches, the food was really good and a very friendly service.

Chelmsford Cathedral always amazes me.

Anyway, finally...here's my Dad in a dress (cassock actually!)

Enjoy it Dad - now the real work starts (as if!)

A brief interlude...

Only to tell you that work is pretty rotten at the moment, what with the first bout of flu and late summer holidays putting half the team out of action at one point. It mans there is a huge backlog of stuff to do which isn't easy when social workers and operators are phoning up constantly to ask advice/query something. I'm also making mistakes because its not something that is natural to me just yet, and sometime those mistakes take a lot to be corrected.

The stress of it all finally got the better of me this afternoon, and unfortunately I was on the phone to a social worker at the time. Although...what was going on at the time wasn't my fault, we still didn't manage to listen to each other and I got really frustrated with it all.

Despite all of this a prayer was answer during the week, though I won't go into detail, it was a miracle for me, to actually feel something happen, whilst I was praying.

The other prayer that has been answered is the safe delivery of a healthy baby Miles last weekend. Yes I had to sit down and take a deep breath when I was told, and I can't wait to see him and his proud parents at Christmas, though I possibly may not be able to wait that long! Congratulations Ant and Laura!

Right I'm off to do some friday night youth work, and hopefully fill out another CRB form, so I can be offically a part time youth worker for the team ministry.

P.S. Dad's getting licensed as a Reader tomorrow, watch out of the pictures!

Time to blog again!

It's Monday night already! Where did the weekend go?

The good news is that the weekend was brilliant. Friday night was a chance to celebrate Emily's birthday and check out Sam's in Brentwood. Saturday was part recovery, part lots to do day! I've had my hair cut (and promptly got annoyed that it wouldn't do the 'decent' thing this morning before work) and started to learn to drive again.

Sunday was 'Back to Church' day and also Harvest celebration, which was incredibly interesting if last week was your first week in church. I also went over to B&Q to get some paint samples for my room. One bright pink, one a lot paler. Then had my mate over for a couple of games on the Wii. Inevitably there were competitions within competitions and a good night was had by all!

Today, I have tried not to fall asleep at work and have realised I am ill, but only very slightly. I have also put 4 blocks of paint on my wall, I might go for the disco floor look! (Only kidding!) Bright pink is a really good colour on me!

The iPod

Possibly the worst invention in the world if you don't own an MP3 or iPod yourself, and you're sat on a bus next to someone who is playing theirs so loud you can hear the words to sing along to. Not only once, but twice today...on the way to work and on the way back! Justin this morning, and Backstreet boys, Another Level and Westlife (old skool!) this evening...only made better by the Subway roll I consumed.

The other thing that actually made me chuckle was that a particular weight loss organization was having an open evening for new members - with wine and nibbles! Umm...great way to start losing weight ladies!

Exciting news: I get my permanent pass tomorrow after lunch and I get to meet the guy who is at the top of our particular department!

Right, off to outreach training and a chance to meet the lady vicar in the parish!

Smashing!

Just a few pictures for you before I go to bed for a well earned rest. Yes I have spent the last two days watching tennis (10 hours in total so far!) but, as always, with any British team, it's not been straight forward.

The rugby and football scores kept me on my toes too! Shame we lost in the women's word cup, but a 5-0 trashing by Arsenal brightened my smile.

So 2-0, what will day 3 of the Davis cup hold?

Facebook has a selection of photo's from the last two days - and will have the third day when I get back tomorrow!

Night!

Take it all...

The joys of Hillsong, from 'Take, take, take it all' to 'I will worship you for who you are'. These are the songs I've been singing for the last few days at work. A good lyric can just get me, and will not get out of my head for days on end. I'm quite surprised that no-one has told me to shut up yet!

Now I just have to figure out how to turn the bass down on the computer speakers!

If you get a chance - check out the link on Ant's blog (below and to the right) for the new look St Mike's web address. A whole mixture of feelings for me at the moment. The start of a new term and I'm not in Stoke Gifford, full time youth work is not my job any more. Pray for the full-time youth team (Ant, Trev and Cath) as well as the large group of extra-timers who are involved in a huge on-going ministry. You don't know how much I miss you all.

A bit of a glum moment.

This week at work has been a tough one. I think I've figured out that being in charge of two areas is not a one person job, or a two person job, it's one and a half almost. I felt absolutely swamped on Wednesday, but today I got through emails that weren't urgent. Having two people takes the pressure off a lot. Still getting an email today for transport tomorrow at 3.30pm today is not funny.

But this week will end on a high (of sorts). Tomorrow is a day off (yeay) which is to be filled by watching the Davis Cup (umm..). I also got my very own stapler and hole punch today! Woot! The exciting life of Liz!

Pictures of tennis and a weekend sports commentary to follow...

Loving Live

Ricky Gervais, everyone!

Yes, live and loud, and saying things to shock...a good laugh, but there are times when I want to hit him.

I'm understanding the concept of a weekend now. I didn't get away from work today until 5 and it absolutely sucks getting out late! Looking forward to not getting up until a sensible time tomorrow!

Just time to grab a drink and settle in for the rugby...I have a feeling I'm not going to like the score! (I'm not liking firefox right now, its playing up big time!)

You First

What a week! It started with the car and continued in a similar crazy fashion.

My lickle brother turned 18 on Thursday so now there is a house full of adults...which has its ups and downs as always. We had good fun celebrating and after the disappointment of Tuesday night (the boys lost their 5-a-side football match 9-5) we needed some cheering up. I'm still really trying to get over going out on Friday - I think that bad nightclubs are the reason why I don't enjoy myself when I go out. Essex just doesn't have the same idea as some of the nightclubs I've been to. I won't rant about it, cos I will just bore you, but its got a lot to do with dance music and having one big room rather than lots of floors for different music.

Yesterday was spent with the extended family, where I got the mick taken out of my constantly. Not good. And quite annoyed that I let it get to me so badly.

Today was the day of 101 things to do at church. Dad was preaching (is sermon - which was really good is here) and serving, Mum was down for drinks after the service and doing the projector during... as Mum always does, she panicked before asking if I wanted to help! D'uh. So I was on the projector this morning and helped with drinks too.

The majority of the afternoon was spent in front of the TV - watching F1 and the rugby! Then it was off to church again to see what Mark's idea for alternative worship is. I really enjoyed discussing the questions he had asked us about the beattitudes in Matt 5. The Message version is a lot different from the NIV and the questions that Mark asked where:

Which beattitude describes you best?

Which beattitude challenges you the most?

Which beattitude can change the world?

Now you might find those questions easy or really difficult (the first one for me is the hardest to answer), but how ever you feel about them, you should feel inspired that God is calling us to be a people that isn't 'me first'.

Who is God calling you to be? Another question that is filling my head. At 22 I thought I knew who I was, what I was meant to do, but God has shown me otherwise and now I have to find who it is that God is calling me to be. At 23 I'm a little lost, those who know me well will know that the last 12 months have been a struggle, hopefully the next 12 will help me to find my feet.

This week pray 'you first' and see how you get on.

One for the road...

You know it had to be done! And I promise this will be one of few rather than one of many...but why 'One for the road...', well it's because of this...


Isn't it beautiful! A pink mini cooper - possibly the car of my dreams! I'll have to see how much it costs and start saving. First I have to learn to drive...

Also one for the road because I've being running. Three times a week, fingers crossed (with or without my younger brother running alongside 'encouraging' me), I'm hoping to get a little fitter by Christmas and lose some of the fat I've gained by drinking too much.

And one for the train...last time I went to Bristol I was some what scuppered by a closed ticket office! So I am mid-flow (well finished now) writing a letter to 'one' railway complaining about the poor service...They will reimburse the tickets that I had to purchase to get myself across London and hopefully try to explain why the ticket office was closed in the first place. As ever I'll keep you updated.

One for the traveller!

Karen...this one is specifically for you as international calling is a little too expensive!

Dad making a complete hash of lunch today...

Camera phones can be so useful!

He thought he was being clever by using the microwave to heat the spaghetti, he didn't give much thought to how hot the bowl was going to be when it came out, so half of it ended up on the work top, with me in stitches! I then proceeded to use the oven glove that is available, like every other sensible human being!


Work this week has being interesting. I'm currently working for the education transport department, doing call backs to parents/carers who are concerned about their/a child's transport to school. The last week and the next two are the busiest for the department apparently, what with school and college starting during September. I'm trying to get to grips with a system that I have very little knowledge of and also fit into the office way of life.

I have never worked in an office with regular hours before, but I'm getting used to it. There is a lot to learn and ideas to get to grips with. Essex County Council is a very busy place. I'm having to learn to listen with both ears separately - those who have worked in the office for just a few months have the amazing ability to listen to the conversation that is going on in the office and have a conversation on the phone too!

We went out of drinks yesterday, so I'm getting to know them all slowly but surely. I have realised really quickly that its an office that changes constantly - the only really fixed element is the system that the council uses!

The rest of life is just that! I get home and theres not a lot to do! Once term kicks off though, I'm sure I'll be able to fill my evenings - the boys have football on Tuesday, alpha on Wednesday, I'm going to start exercising to just so that I start sleeping properly! Its driving me nuts waking up in the middle of the night!

Anyway - Karen I hope the rest of your time in Canada serves you well. I suggest sleeping for the 18 hour bus journey! Or have you picked up any good books while you've been out there?

On the move...

Not only am I going to Bristol for a couple of days this weekend, I'm also starting a new job on Tuesday morning with the council! Exciting, eh?

The last two weeks have been a little on the crazy side, and so much of a roller coaster, its been hard to get to grips with just what is happening in my life. Just a week ago I was saying goodbye to a very good friend of mine, he's now on a ship somewhere and it's difficult to keep up with him! That was a sad occasion and I'm looking forward to seeing him when he eventually gets back.

Last Friday I was saying hello to Kay, who is a very good friend. I've pretty much spoken to her every day since I left Bristol, now whenever I'm on the phone my parents don't need to ask who I'm talking to! I'm off to see her tomorrow, spend a couple of days in Stoke Gifford before starting my new job. It was really good fun having Kay stay in Billericay for a few days, I really enjoy her company! Unfortunately she'd built Essex up to be something that, well, frankly it isn't and going out on Saturday night didn't much help her impressions! Still we had a lot of fun and we're happy at the end of the night! When she left on Sunday, I was not in a happy mood. The sore throat that I'd gotten from drinking too much completely wiped me out, so I went to bed.

Monday was spent mainly feeling sorry for myself, although I did end up going out with my brother and his mates in the evening. The night started off well, but I hit a point where I just could not be bothered any more. I don't know if you've ever experienced a change in attitude quickly (otherwise known as a mood swing), one thats so quick, you're caught by surprise? I was completely, and I realised that I have been in self destruct mode for a few weeks. I wasn't happy when I woke up on Tuesday and felt even lower walking into the job centre to claim my JSA (which rather ironically I won't have to do any more as my circumstances have changed!), so I'm doing something about it.

That's enough of that! I'm just going to draw your attention to a new link on the side panel. Its the blog of a magazine, and a very good read.

Right, off to pack!!

P.S. How is it that sex sells everything? From Paint (Dulux during Ugly Betty at 11am this morning) to Fabric conditioner - I am so shocked, why can't we just have cute babies and dogs again?

P.P.S. (Because another entry would be crazy) My brother is currently playing music in our drive that is so loud I can hear all of the words, and I would turn it down if the sound system was in the same room. No where to escape!

Theme parks and interviews!

Sunday was Funday - renamed by all those in this photo (except the Bear)

The seven of us had a great time - convincing each other that the rides really aren't that scary, screaming 'look at the view' at the top of a ride, and getting absolutely soaked in the process (thank you very much, Rich). There are a lot more photos on Facebook, if you have it.

I did enjoy the day completely and now I realise I'm not as scared of the rides as most of my friends. It's all about trusting the technology and knowing that even if the harness is a little loose, you're not going to fall out. I expect to fall forward a little cos I'm so tiny. Air, Rita and Nemesis are brilliant, but next time I go to a theme park I want to go on rides that scare me!

On to interviews, I went up to Lakeside today to fill out more forms and had a look while I was there too. Just a waiting game now!

The old ones are the best...

Yes...My Nan in my hoodie...well she was the one that asked for a jumper! I guess I thought I'd never see it, but boy did I laugh when it actually happened!!

We've spent the evening around the BBQ discussing the fun that my brother and his mates are going to have at the V festival next weekend in the tiniest tent ever! I haven't taken a photo of it, but it should be fun never the less. I'm thinking of going out to our garden (they're having a trail run tonight) at 5.30am tomorrow, before I go to Alton Towers, just to wake them up!

Yep, its the almost annual trip to a theme park tomorrow, so I'm going to knock myself out and hope I sleep right through to my 5.30am alarm, unlike I have done in the run up. I've been having all sorts of strange dreams about losing people and shoes on various rides!!

I remembered...

what I was going to say yesterday and I've got more to add!

Facebook is a strange phenomenon. There is now a group for The Billericay School Studio Orchestra, which I used to be a part of. I've still got my choir and orchestra t-shirts, floating around somewhere, which proves I don't let go of the past so quickly! It's another strange re-living of an experience I'd almost forgotten - it's at least 7 years since I played in an orchestra or sung in a choir.

Now the school is technology and maths minded, rather than music, which is sad, and again proves that I don't let go of the past...

The other thing is a little bit of a rant. I hate Satnav, well actually young drivers who can't read maps.I'd love to drop them all in the middle of the wilderness and ask them to get home using a map and a compass.

And finally...call centers that aren't in England, need I say more?

Cassocks and kegs...

I was going to blog, but I can't really remember what I was going to say. I guess it couldn't have been of huge importance!

I've just helped my Dad measure up for his cassock and surplice for his Reader Licencing in October. Very funny that he's going to have to wear the outfit for the day! Looking forward to it though.

Tonight I'm going to play some pool and drink lots with 3 very good friends! I do love being at home!

Simpsons

Look at me! I'm a Simpsons character and I still haven't seen the movie!!

Party in the park

I spent a whole afternoon in the park, sat cleverly in the shade, so I didn't get burnt! And I bought a hat, which looks amazing. I've never been so excited about a picnic before, and this one was just tops. The group that used to be my youth have now grown up and I'm really glad to call them my friends. They've each got a brilliant sense of humour and can entertain each other. We do work well as a group and I will be sad to see some of them disappear to uni at the end of summer. (I already know that and I've only been back a week.)

There are other pressing matters in life right now so I really shouldn't be blogging. I have clean clothes to put away, and outfit to sort out for my interview tomorrow and I also have to find my last CRB form! Not quite sure where its vanished to in all of the moving around.

I'm going into London tomorrow, so I think an afternoon in the Tate will do me the world of wonders. I can stare at art for ages and not have to worry about what anyone else thinks!

Heroes

Seen as Facebook isn't working...I'm going to blog again.

If you haven't been watching Heroes (either on NBC or BBC 2) then you won't want to read this post.

It's absolutely amazing! I've really enjoyed watching it. I've seen three episodes now and I have really fallen for it. People with super powers, some who want them, some who don't, some who aren't quite sure what they are capable of just yet, some who think they have a power and are trying to convince others. I could describe every character, but I won't!

Naturally there are people who have popped up from previous shows/movies. And as always, this has bugged me incredibly, thankfully the good people at IMDB.com have done all the research for me! So now I know that Clea DuVall who plays Audrey Hanson in the show is also Stokes in the movie The Faculty, and Hayden Panettiere (who is very hot, I must say) who plays Claire Bennet was also in Law and Order:SVU and Ally McBeal.

Thank you IMDB.com, I would go insane without you!

Right, I'm off to sit in the sun!

NIghts out, nights in

I've had my fair share of both since I've been back. A whole week! I feel like I should be packing my bag and moving again, but I know that it wouldn't be right, so I'm staying put. So far, so good...sooo good.

I've caught up with pretty much all of my friends and rekindled some old relationships...drank in pubs with people who have grown up spectacularly while I've been away and seen that the influence of a youth worker can still have impact four years down the line. (Yes that youth worker was me!) I've also heard some hilarious stories and realised that some things never actually change, as much as you might want them to, you can just count on some people to be as steady as always.

Whilst Googling Bas Vegas (go on do it!) I came across a Wiki site for Big Brother - really how far does this stuff reach? I have spent this year totally avoiding the whole thing, I can't even tell you the names of the contestants, or even what the house looks like.

Anyway, almost back to normality, except Facebook is down for maintenance this morning! People! Give us some warning! I've got important things to do!

Back and moved in!

Almost everything I own in back in Billericay and I've done one major thing since I got back on thursday. I've removed the top bunk bed from the room. Which has totally changed the look of the room. There's now quite a lot of wall space, and my bed is in the center.

This is not where the transformation ends, I'm going to do some painting and some furniture moving. I'm hopefully going to purchase some new stuff so there's room for people to stay! I'm also going to put up some shelves and create some art to hang. And its all going to be pink and purple!

So being back at home is good, I've got things to keep me occupied while I'm unemployed. There's going to church, the cinema, and the pub!!

I've been in contact with a few volunteer services and youth work agencies, so I'm happy for mow!

For the very last time...

I'm blogging from Stoke Gifford, because as of tomorrow I will be back in Essex, I am trying so hard not to cry. I've said a lot of my goodbyes today and yet none of it seems real.

But still I have to go and I do so with a smile on my face. It's been a brilliant year!

Thank you...

"For I know the plans I have for you"

declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm,

plans to give you a hope and a future"

Words that I know are true, words that have constantly reminded me that what is going on in my life is right and for a purpose greater than I could ever imagine.

Today would've been the best day of my life, I was meant to be getting married.

Instead I'm sat in the church office, listening to the rain and sorting out plans for our Big Day Out tomorrow. As the school year comes to an end, I've been thinking about the last couple of months. Stoke Gifford feels a lot like home, St Michael's church have welcomed me and blessed me in so many ways.

There's so much to be said about this year - all the highs and all the lows, but there aren't enough words. I guess one big word is THANK YOU. To all the people who have helped me and have been looking out for me. To all of the teenagers who have made my year so much fun!

Seeing how God works in this world always amazes me!

Today's the day...

...I turn 23!

And I feel like a fanatical kid - I got season 4 of CSI:Crime Scene Investigation and a book all about it! So exciting!

I'm also going to see Harry Potter and we're doing the pub quiz this evening. Woot!!

Standing up in church...

I did a lot of it yesterday, and I've not finished just yet!

Yesterday was the first time in 4 years that I'd done a talk. The first time was on ascension day in 2003, to a very small congregation, in a small-ish church. Yesterday was a slightly bigger occasion and with a different message. I spoke on the baptism of Jesus and being a follower, because one of the young people was getting baptised.

Claire's testimony was heart-felt, we were all amazed by her ability to stand up and tell people about her life in such great detail. A true star, I know she was incredibly nervous and very worried about the reaction she was going to get. All she got was reassurance from everyone and a huge pat on the back.

As with all of these things, I don't remember very much of it, and it felt like someone else had done it once the whole thing was over. I was told before the beginning of the service that I was going to be doing power point, which added to the pressure, something which I'd never done in St Michael's from the back of church. I quickly learnt!

Everyone was full of praise afterwards, only one person had a question about what I'd said.

I'm comforted by the comment from my boss this morning as he came into the office 'That was a bit good last night Liz, and surprising, in a good way'. Funny, but I've got a smile on my face.

You can listen to me from the link on the church website - I'm the one that's dated 15 July - Youth service.

On with the week, 2 days to go...

5 days to go!!

You're lucky I haven't started to tell you about my count down before now! If you don't know whats going on, I'm balatantly going to tell you in the next sentence! It's my birthday on wednesday and I've got lots of things planned, so that I don't have to think about turning 23!

I'm definitely going home and getting a job somewhere, I quite like working in the coffee shop, so I migh give that a go. If not I'm already signed up to an agency, so I'll see if I can get some work from them. It's full steam ahead, and I've also been given the go ahead to move my room around and get a new bed! Just got to pack everything up...

Leaving somewhere is always a difficult thing to do, I haven't really given it much thought. I'm still really getting over the other two major things in my life - leaving uni and leaving Henry. Still two weeks and I will be taking my last trip from Bristol to Essex, hopefully with a friend or two to keep me company!

Back to work...it's been an interesting day. I've got a talk to finish.

Football!!

The winning team!! St Mikes Youth FC thrashed St Michaels Church FC, 3-1 on Friday evening. It was part of our RE:fresh 'Night With A Difference'. A brilliant game, and of course, bragging rights are ours until the next match!

The rest of the weekend has been good fun, I spent Saturday wandering around Cheltenham, looking at what had changed and spending money, for various birthdays. I watched a young Harry make his way towards his first meeting with you-know-who (and if you don't know, where have you been?) and then watch the making of the new Potter movie.

Sunday was a regular day. I've started to say goodbye to people now, and preparations are being made for my leaving tea in a few weeks.

Today I have seen my parents, before they jet off to Scilly for two weeks!! They dropped off a couple of books and a present for me. It's nine days til my 23rd birthday. Yeay! (Also nine days til I see Harry potter with some of the girls.) I've been working on the sng books for most of the day and they are almost finished!!

Bloggers back log...

It doesn't seem to be loading properly...but when has blogging ever been easy?

I also haven't blogged for a week, I'm almost certain the lack of posts has everything to do with having only one computer in the office that connects the internet, and even then it doesn't do it very well!

So what's happened... I finished the song books and realised two glaringly obvious mistakes during the weekend, which are going to be fixed before I forget what was wrong. The weekend itself went very well, other than Saturday morning, which was spent in tears - lack of sleep plus harsh reality often equates to me crying. The rest of the time in the Shephard's buildings was really good, it went without a hitch. We got home on Sunday and headed to The Mix shortly after. The Mix is ok at the moment, the worship was good, time to chill, feeling absolutely at peace, with all this noise going on around me is awesome.

Since then the rest of the week has gone well, I'm trying to write my talk for the Youth Service in a week and a half. Despite having a theology degree I still struggle with doing talks. I've not been to vicar college, just regular university.

I'm slowly starting to realise the enormity of how things have changed for me since September, the date for the wedding is fast approaching, and where I should be up to my eye balls in preparation, I've replaced it with application forms and song books. For those of you who know me, you'll know that I haven't talked about it a lot. Truth is I'm still trying to get my head around it all. I know I've done the right thing, that I'm not supposed to be getting married, but 7 months on from splitting up with Henry, I'm still thinking about it all.

Umm... moving on, otherwise I'll cry (again), I've filled out two application forms for jobs in Essex. They are both for youth work jobs, both with training, but in two different areas of the profession. Continue to pray.

Once again...

I'm going to moan, about Radio 1. They are still going on about Glastonbury! Argh!

Though having said all of that, the tennis has started (yeay!), but on Monday, John MacEnroe (yes, I had to check how his name was spelt!) was talking about the Concert for Diana, which happens this Sunday, for absolutely ages! (boo!) There's a right time and place to discuss such things, during a tennis match is not one!!

The other thing was the coverage of Paris Hilton emerging out of prison earlier this week. I thought I'd escape it if I watched BBC news - but no - there she was, strutting out of prison! As you can tell I don't enjoy the obsession with celebrities who think breaking the law is the best way of getting some publicity. I'd hate to ask 'what's next?'...

Today, I almost finished the songbooks (both music and words) for St Mike's Youth. Looking forward to taking them on the SAP weekend away. They look really good, and I hope they'll last for a while. Just have to put one more page in the words edition and it will be done - but as with all these things it will continue to grow!

We get our t-shirts for the weekend this evening. They're black and orange! I'm really getting excited about the whole thing now...

Making a tough decision...

Some thoughts while I''ve got some time to myself.

I've decided, with encouragement, to stop searching for jobs that don't suit me. Namely youth ministry jobs. It's been a tough decision to make, as it means leaving what I know and heading home to take time out. I say 'with encouragement' because everyone I have spoken to recognises that God doesn't always speak clearly or loudly in words. The people around me right now understand that a job maybe the end of me, rather than the beginning of God's work in me.

So for those of you who live in the east of the country, be aware, I'm moving home. Another decision that wasn't taken lightly. I'm almost 23 (18 July - I expect gifts!) so it's going to be interesting to be living at home again, after being away for what feels like forever. Thankfully again, I have a great family, who will support me, and friends who will be encouraging.

And finally, what next? There are so many doors to test, and see which one God wants me to walk through. I know I have people praying for me and I'm praying myself, trying not to shut out what God is saying.

I've only got a month left in Bristol and it's starting to dawn on me that my time here (in this beautiful place, full of God's love) is coming to an end.

Pray for those who have a busy week, for those who are heading to Telford for the Student Age Pastorate Weekend away (all 20 of us!), for those who are coping with difficult situations and for all who are seeking God in life, every day.

Second time lucky...

Whay! It's taken me ages, but I finally got it sorted!

In the search of...

...a free computer with a good internet connection!

I was going to blog yesterday, but the connection in our office is having some serious doubts about existing at the moment.

I was also going to show you my posters that I keep harping on about, but that doesn't want to work either!!

Back to song books and emails...

Life is moving on....

Now I think I'm free to say what I like about jobs and job interviews. I've mainly been going for jobs that are ministry based, with young people. Needless to say I am not jumping up and down with excitement about it all. I want to do youth or student work, but I'm not sure I should be doing ministry any more. I'm having a lot of very searching conversations asked of me right now, all of which I think are incredibly valid.

So keep praying for me, it's not that I lack direction, its something else...doors are closing, but I don't feel any are opening.

As for the rest of the week, my brain has been plodding along, getting things done. The posters for the Big Day Out are done and will shortly be put up, in time for everyone to go 'what's this then?' I'm also busy sorting out the St Mike's Youth Song Books for future use! It's exciting to tax my brain with problems to do with putting something together that's going to be used for a long time (hopefully) to come!! I think I may have reached new levels of geekness with my knowledge of photocopiers!!

Advertising!

I have spent the day doing posters and flyers for various events happening in July. It's very exciting to see everything we've planned in words and pictures, and the good news is that we get to have A3 posters very soon.

I'm not going to say too much about yesterday, you can ask if you want. I enjoyed it. I really like Herne Bay and the surrounding area, its great if you want a bit of beach and some sun (except for when it rains and you're eating ice cream!). So now I'm back in Bristol, waiting for a phone call...

Back to those flyers...