Ok firstly, I have to mention the work men in the high street again...silly boys trying to move everything on a Friday morning at 8am, again...did they not learn from the first attempt, or are they blind to the world around them. If they'd worked it out, everyone would be happy.
Work this week has been really tough, I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing with my time,the last three months have gone past in a blur...and I'm really tired from it all, and of it all. I want to get out, but they may chuck me out before I get the chance to walk. We'll see, the end of March is the testing ground. Argh...
As for the rest of life, things are still really hard to understand, like why has it taken me this long to realise that I can't do things on my own any more. Sunday night we were in Luton seeing Karen, and we went to church, to St Mary's to see what it was like. I do love St Mary's, I've alway felt like its a church I could worship in forever, and I always have an experience of God and God's love for the lost when I'm there. This time was no different, and in so many ways it was the most different experience I've had of God, ever. Some of my friend had joined us for the journey and their experience of church is different, so I was a little worried that they wouldn't enjoy it. That feeling soon went out of the window. The sermon didn't hit me...but the words of the final song did...'I surrender'. I had to give up, not my possessions or my life, but the feeling that everything was alright, the brave face I've been putting on had to go. So I let go, and God moved me, I've got a long way to go, and I'm not alright, I'm very much standing alone.
God's carrying me, and taking me towards something that I'm frightened of, so frightened I can't see where I'm going.
I'm praying hard...and hoping that I can teach others from this part of my life.
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