Google-ing

I have just done the one thing Rob Bell says he never does - I googled my name - firstly Liz Fisher and then Elizabeth Fisher, and found a lot of interesting websites - none awful, but all of ladies with the same name, doing things I have always wanted to do. How scary is that? I found a family tree website, an art critics website and various University lecturers have the same name. Fortunately I haven't come across anything about me.

But hopefully if I mention my own name enough I might come across myself some day!! How vain am I?

Discipline

Tonight was the first night of Rock Solid rules and discipline. Hats off to Trev, it worked! They were ok, and I'm starting to like some of them. I get to play bad cop, which means laying down the law and making some of the calls. They hate me, but it means that Trev gets to make friends with them.

I'm currently listening to a few of the old tunes on Yahoo! Music. I've come across Christina with pink highlights and Vanessa Carlton! Top stuff!

After plunging myself into darkness earlier and after finding the fuse box I have discovered I have blown a bulb in the kitchen and I have no idea how to sort it out! Its either going to mean I have to find a boy or I cook in darkness for the next few weeks. Its a dodgy lightbulb - one of the flat ones and the actually fitting is falling out of the ceiling. Ummm...some help please?

Youth Alpha, devotionals and mince pies

I'm leading youth alpha in the new year! Argh! It's going to be great though, I know that there are teenagers who are asking all the questions Alpha hopes to shed some light on. I'm slowly learning that not all questions have to have answers (I think its becoming a theme in my life!).
The devotional went really well this morning. I was aware of God's presence and was blessed with a picture (I get them a lot!) that indicated to me that I can not do things on my own!
As for mince pies - I'm afraid Christmas has come too early for some. I'm a regular listener to GWR Bristol and the lads on the morning show have been in a pie eating contest this week! Very funny and I'm dying to know how badly they did!!

101 things

Christmas is coming thick and fast, but there are a few people who are putting it off until the end of the first week proper of Advent. Yes we are just 2 days away from the first day of Advent. Which also means I only have 50 hours (at time of writing) until I can get my hands on the fair trade chocolate that is still on the piano (it's in an Advent calendar, if you're not getting my drift.)
The weather has been funny over the last few days, we've gone from blazing sunshine to torrential rain and back again, since Sunday morning, rather strange, it's the very end of November and I'm still wondering if a coat is absolutely necessary.
This evening was spent with Mettle group C who are a wonderful bunch of hard working teenagers and have questions about faith and Christianity that would envelope the world, if they were all written down. Needless to say my head is swimming, but I want them to keep asking the questions that matter to them and not to stop. I've done that recently and it means I'm not asking God anything, which can be a dangerous place to be in. Questions are what keep things going, if someone answers with a 'no', what, naturally do we do? We find a way for there to be a 'yes', either by nagging (kids at Christmas) or asking different questions.
I feel that there is a lot the group can achieve but finding space for them to meet and discuss all of these questions is going to be a challenge.
Tomorrow I'm leading our team time, which I'm ever so slightly nervous about, because I haven't lead anything for ages, especially devotional times. Not for years. So I'm praying, hard, that God would talk through me and that tomorrow morning flies by!
On other things that I am nervous about, I have booked a therapeutic massage for next week, which I've never done before, and it comes with a free manicure, which I've never had before, so not only am I going to be totally relaxed in the run up to Christmas, I'm also going to have very pretty hands!! So The next ten days are going to be interesting for me.

Sherbert fountains, registers and accents

Some of the things that have cropped up during RE:fresh this evening. The wonderful young people who come along to our coffee shop have so much to talk about, from Harry Potter (new movie in July) to Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean and of course Orlando Bloom, boys, girls, football, accents and sweets. A range of things, in one conversation I had this evening. Recently RE:fresh has had problems, but tonight felt more positive, a lot more relaxed and open, we're slowly getting it right. God is in everything we do and I pray constantly for openings in groups so I can talk to people I would be scared of talking to. Its a confidence booster all round really. I also get to find out who has the most power in a group, who is a leader, and which ones would cause the most trouble if they had the chance to.

We're coming up to a busy time for this group, for many they are facing mock GCSE exams and making hard decisions about where they want to do their AS levels, others are at the very beginning of a long road, that leads to GCSE's. Christmas is going to be interesting and there is not very long left before the schools close their doors for the holidays.

On accents - something of note - I've been told twice today that I don't sound like I come from Essex, I met a Chelmsford boy and I think we were both surprised when we found we were from the same area! Neither of us had a strong Essex accent - much to the amusement of the German who was standing with us, though I didn't realise he was from a totally different country until he said 'who is Lee Evans?'! The young ladies I was speaking to this evening assumed I'd lived in Bristol and gone to school in Bristol, which I don't often come across, its a little strange to get an 'oh, we didn't realise' reaction from a group of girls who I've known since september.

Any way, I must get going, downstairs that is, CSI is on.

Not a lot going on!

Well for me at least, being super organised has its downfalls too.
I spent yesterday with Mary, who was down from Norwich for a few days. We went to the Student meal, which has come on in leaps and bounds since I was last there, we've started doing a Bible study now, which fits better with where we are. We're still hearing from other people in the church along side this though. We had pie for dessert, which was the cheapest thing in the world to do - thank you Sainsburys! Mary left this morning after staying the night. It's been brilliant to see her and my other friend - James, who has a mind very similar to Rob Bell, in capacity!
I'm looking forward to Christmas now, I'm going to be at home with people who are on my wavelength and understand what is going on in my life. I just have to do all of the shopping to go with it! Woop! Is saturday a good day to start?

Enough to keep me ticking over

Which generally means I am thinking so much that I'm not sleeping. I went out yesterday evening to see two very good friend, who I haven't seen since August. We had dinner at Zerodegrees - which is a pub in Bristol that brews its own drinks! It was really good. I had some conversations that I haven't had in ages and I understand more of the world when I talk to these particular people.
My boss has made a good point about life - your desk (if you have one) often reflects your state of mind. He has some good things to say about the conference too - check out his blog here.
I'm currently listening to the new delirious album, its good, but I'm still not sure about their celebrity status in the world, some times it all seems a bit strange. There's a question for you to think about 'What are the thoughts and feelings behind 'Christian celebrities', is it wrong or right? Does the faith need it?'
I got over my thoughts about anniversaries and I'm moving on to think about those who have passed on. My Grandads ashes are being buried tomorrow. And sacrifices - an assembly in Filton!

The weekend and anniversaries

This weekend the whole of the Youth team and Mark traveled to Eastbourne to spend some time in the company of other youthworkers from up and down the country. Yes it's that time of year again, its Youthwork: The Conference. We went for the early day because we are full timers, and lucky to have the time off (umm...). We spent a whole day listening to the teachings of Rob Bell, which was amazing. He's full of information that means he can talk without notes, just a Bible in his hand. He's a revelation really. Very cool and very humble too.

He fried my brain though (in a good way), so the rest of the weekend was tough, but I still enjoyed it! Got a chance to see some youthworkers I haven't seen for ages, the cheltenham bunch in particular! Hello Luke!

I was a tad disappointed with some of the seminars as they didn't answer some of the questions they seemed to be asking. I'm a very practical person, so need to hear other people's ideas of how to solve problems, not hear about different models of church, when we're talking about unchurched and churched groups. And I know I'm not the only one.

So I came away from the weekend refreshed and wanting to ask more questions about faith and life, and Rob Bell (who doesn't google his name!). I also came away a little sad. Yesterday was going to be an anniversary for Henry and I but obviously that didn't happen. I have started to talk about everything now though, and things are becoming a little clearer!

All wrapped up!

Nice and warm in the house by myself, getting a little frustrated at having cable and nothing interesting to watch!!
I finally found a way of getting the parcel that has been sent to me. The bus services around here are pretty good, shame the internet is not that good at telling me where Patchway delivery office is!Any how, I'm on my way to getting it sorted and finding out what is in that package!
I was going to have a huge rant about the Royal Mail, but I'm too tired to tell you that the card they put through my door was entirely wrong about their online redelivery system and that their office hours are utterly stupid! If you're nowhere near the delivery office, you've got little chance of getting there between 7am and 12noon! Really? What do postmen and women do with their afternoons? I know one who completed his degree whilst doing a round, is it that difficult to keep an office open in the afternoon?
Rant over with. I'm going to make stupid noises at the Goldsmiths website - by the way I'm tired!

Feeling Low

I'm in the office on my own and ok I'm not listening to the best music (Nooma soundtrack cd) but I'm still feeling a little low. Can't put my finger on why, but its how I'm feeling. I guess life is a little strange at the moment. I've not got a lot to do and I'm having to get used to a life style change. I'm also not sleeping well because of the stress of everything that has happened, I suppose.

Pray for Helen...

To and fro

Well I'm back in Bristol after a short week at home and soon I will be off to Eastbourne for a couple of days!

I got in late after a train broke down, so I missed seeing the girls at f.h.c.u. but now I'm in the office and I have been told to take it slow! I've been sorting out my photos of my graduation and as always, you can find them by clicking on the pink box in the right hand column or going to flickr.

Not a lot is going on this week other than mentally preparing myself for the weekend and the youthwork conference. Again its another weekend that is going to be emotionally draining, and in a strange place for a few days. I know I want to go and I know I have to prepare myself for it. But being ill and emotionally drained already I do wonder!

Yes I'm all kinds of ill again. I can't escape from the cold weather so my throat and lungs are in protest at the moment. I fear I may have under done my need for sleep while I was at home, and have got a very tickly throat. I am also stressed and the muscles my shoulders are like rocks! I think I may need to be pampered!

Oh well, Christmas is truly on the way and so are all the parties we have to organised and be a part of.

MSN and Support

I logged on this evening to find I was bombarded with people talking to me on MSN, which is brilliant, but annoying at the same time. I can just leave the thing to flash at the bottom ofthe screen which means I can't do anything until I've said goobye to a majority of them. And every time it flashes up in the corner, I have to look at it! Argh!

Not a lot else has gone on today, I have literally done nothing, except cook a lasagne that over flowed! I will get it right one day.

For all of those who are worrying about me, I am told I am coping extremely well with what is going on. The only thing i'm not tolerating at the moment is people leaving doors open,so that I can't feel my fingers when I'm typing - there is no draft when the computer room door is shut!

Its the little things you do

I think the time has come for me to tell you what is going on in my life thats made me so quiet over the last few days. I'm still trying to get my head around it all so forgive me if this all seems a little random.

I'm not with Henry any more. There's a lot that surrounds this statement, a fact, a truth of life that I now have to deal with in the best way I know how. Thankfully my boss and staff team know quite a bit about coping already, so have sent me home for at least a week, so I can recover and 'get myself right'. Its a shock but actually had been coming for a long time. Distance and personalities were among a few reasons, but I don't want to go into detail.

I know that I'm being lead down a different path and there have been a few markers to suggest that the relationship we had was not meant to go into marriage and I'm sure that you can understand they are personal to me. Its fair to say that other people have spotted these too.

So I have taken myself off wedding group mailing lists and have attempted to get deposits back from various companies today. I also had lunch with my nan and spent some money on a very sparkly top for going out on friday night.

We shall see how the rest of this year goes, now that I am single and sticking (as hard as I can) to what God wants for my life. Back to work on tuesday moring - I shall find out how well I'm coping very soon.

Interesting

Its been an interesting weekend, for reasons known to me and a few close friends, and you, dear reader, at some point in the future, but not now. It's not right first thing on a Monday morning and so soon after what has happened.
I got guess the year wrong this morning, which I'm gutted about. Although having looked at all the evidence I'm sure that I'm not the only one who thought they were right!
Yesterday evening was interesting as well, with all that is going on, we were down to do detatch work at the Mix, which means standing outside, looking after those who want a fag or a breather. I'm probably not the best person to do detatch work, striking up a conversation at the best of times is hard, but especially with people I don't know. I'll get used to it I guess, it's part of my job, so I have to, but with everything else that is going on, I'm not the most focused person in the world right now.

Sundays

Are generally spent at church. Today has been no different. I led RS2 which had 11 young people, most of whom I know in some capacity. They are a good group of guys and girls, who take a while to get off the ground, but when they do, its full steam ahead. We were talking about prayer, how we do it, and how we can turn anything into prayer. We also learnt that God wants us to ask, ernestly, for what we want!
So I'm doing a lot of asking at the moment, because I don't know what I want...

Back in Bristol

And back to work, almost immediately! It was all good fun on Friday. Graduation is a joy no matter who is the graduand. I spent a good three hours in my gown and hood, of which there will be photos to follow, just a soon as I get them on to my laptop and downloaded. That's currently in the office - so I have to do it when I have some free time, because I can't get my laptop on to the network at home! Joy.
I saw the housemate I didn't want to see and we successfully avoided each other for the whole day. I got to see all of the housemates I wanted to see though, which made my day. We spent a bit of time with them, reminiscing about what its like to watch someone cut themselves off from a good group of girls. I promise that is the last time I mention the housemate who I dislike!

So graduation happened, almost without fault. I got my name in the programme, I shook hands with the Rt Rev and Rt Hon Lord Carey of Clifton and he spoke to me, asked me if I enjoyed the course - well what could I say, I was hoping to get some more out of him, but you can't really discuss deep theological matters - like women bishops, on stage, in front of a thousand people! The fault? My gown, hood and mortar board were nowhere to be seen when I arrived. We paid for it, but the website was awful - well the day had to go wrong somewhere. That was sorted in a matter of minutes though, so I wasn't too fussed by it! Everything else was fine, lunch, drinks in the su bar and getting back to Bristol in time to cook dinner and be the first to arrive at work.

We had 50 young people at RE:fresh, which is a brilliant number. Its amazing what the cold can do, but some still insisted on sitting outside! Whatever floats your boat. It's becoming a really good place to see the youth and their friends, who we're not in regular contact with. Ant managed to get the names of everyone, which was awesome! Well done!

Tomorrow finds me leading RS2 and going to The Mix. Fun.

Finally - relationships are funny things, friendship is a difficult concept when love is involved. Cryptic? I think!!

Lordi, London and lazy dayz

Oh how I love alliteration! And bad spelling!

I've spent a good few hours just relaxing after my jaunt into the city yesterday, which almost began with Henry and I missing the train. Thankfully, there was a delay of some sort which meant that we found ourselves in London at lunch time with virtually nothing to do. What the best, cheapest thing to do in London on a rainy day? Go to the Tate Modern, so that's what we did. The currently have a huge installation of slides, by Carsten Holler, called Test Site and naturally Henry wanted to go on the tallest one (5 stories of twisting metal - inside the turbine hall! Incredibly high!) but unfortunately tickets were only available for the 3rd storey slide and at 5pm, which was a little on the late side for what we had planned, so we wondered around the third floor for a bit.

Now the Tate Modern is renown for its collection, in the many times I have been there I have seen Tracy Emin's messy bed and Cornelia Parker's exploding shed but for the first time I stood close to Pablo Picasso's Weeping Woman and looked carefully at her face and the composition of the picture. It's incredibly sad and obviously strange on first glance but if you look hard enough, she's wiping away her tears and chewing on the cloth she has in her hand. Don't look too hard or you'll lose the mystery! I also saw a picture by Emil Nolde, called The Sea B, which is incredible when you read what he has to say about it. He really has captured a moment, something that he wanted to do right from the start.

Then Henry got bored, so we wandered up and down Oxford Street for a bit. We ate and then went to Kentish Town, to see Lordi! We queued in the freezing cold for ages and once we got inside we found a spot and stood there for a while. Tursisas were the support act (sounds like an illness, and when said with the right accent Tereasas) and actually really good. Dressed like Norse men (of course, they are Finnish) and with an electric violin and two accordions, where could they go wrong? Well they didn't and I will put some photo's up to show you what they were like! It sounds snooty but all the different elements of the band came together do make a really good sound. If I could play my violin like that I'd earn a lot of money!

Lordi followed after a set change and a long wait. They played for a good hour, and then some. If you don't know who Lordi are, where have you been. They totally trounced Eurovision this year and have been touring since September. They are a good laugh and it being Halloween meant everyone got dressed up. The whole place was in high spirits, not angry or fighting, which some times seems to be the portrayal of this type of music. They had fireworks, fake blood and female dolls!

One thing that struck me while we were singing 'The Devil is a loser and he's my b!*ch' (which is true!) was that actually, these musicians are at the top of their game (although world domination is a theme!) and they are just shouting about their subject matter. Dressing up and using fake blood is all part of an act that is great fun to watch. I would never go the whole hog, but I appreciate those who do!

The other thing was that the crowd are so easily lead when they are in the mood. The drummer (who is amazing) lead the crowd for most of the evening - he seems like a very stroppy character! Kita seems like the smallest member of the band (I don't know if he actually is) but he makes up for it in personality! Mr Lordi is a good leader and loves his fireworks!

So I got home (billericay) at 7.30am this morning and managed to crawl into bed and get back out all before lunch, to talk to my Dad!