Back and moved in!

Almost everything I own in back in Billericay and I've done one major thing since I got back on thursday. I've removed the top bunk bed from the room. Which has totally changed the look of the room. There's now quite a lot of wall space, and my bed is in the center.

This is not where the transformation ends, I'm going to do some painting and some furniture moving. I'm hopefully going to purchase some new stuff so there's room for people to stay! I'm also going to put up some shelves and create some art to hang. And its all going to be pink and purple!

So being back at home is good, I've got things to keep me occupied while I'm unemployed. There's going to church, the cinema, and the pub!!

I've been in contact with a few volunteer services and youth work agencies, so I'm happy for mow!

For the very last time...

I'm blogging from Stoke Gifford, because as of tomorrow I will be back in Essex, I am trying so hard not to cry. I've said a lot of my goodbyes today and yet none of it seems real.

But still I have to go and I do so with a smile on my face. It's been a brilliant year!

Thank you...

"For I know the plans I have for you"

declares the Lord,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm,

plans to give you a hope and a future"

Words that I know are true, words that have constantly reminded me that what is going on in my life is right and for a purpose greater than I could ever imagine.

Today would've been the best day of my life, I was meant to be getting married.

Instead I'm sat in the church office, listening to the rain and sorting out plans for our Big Day Out tomorrow. As the school year comes to an end, I've been thinking about the last couple of months. Stoke Gifford feels a lot like home, St Michael's church have welcomed me and blessed me in so many ways.

There's so much to be said about this year - all the highs and all the lows, but there aren't enough words. I guess one big word is THANK YOU. To all the people who have helped me and have been looking out for me. To all of the teenagers who have made my year so much fun!

Seeing how God works in this world always amazes me!

Today's the day...

...I turn 23!

And I feel like a fanatical kid - I got season 4 of CSI:Crime Scene Investigation and a book all about it! So exciting!

I'm also going to see Harry Potter and we're doing the pub quiz this evening. Woot!!

Standing up in church...

I did a lot of it yesterday, and I've not finished just yet!

Yesterday was the first time in 4 years that I'd done a talk. The first time was on ascension day in 2003, to a very small congregation, in a small-ish church. Yesterday was a slightly bigger occasion and with a different message. I spoke on the baptism of Jesus and being a follower, because one of the young people was getting baptised.

Claire's testimony was heart-felt, we were all amazed by her ability to stand up and tell people about her life in such great detail. A true star, I know she was incredibly nervous and very worried about the reaction she was going to get. All she got was reassurance from everyone and a huge pat on the back.

As with all of these things, I don't remember very much of it, and it felt like someone else had done it once the whole thing was over. I was told before the beginning of the service that I was going to be doing power point, which added to the pressure, something which I'd never done in St Michael's from the back of church. I quickly learnt!

Everyone was full of praise afterwards, only one person had a question about what I'd said.

I'm comforted by the comment from my boss this morning as he came into the office 'That was a bit good last night Liz, and surprising, in a good way'. Funny, but I've got a smile on my face.

You can listen to me from the link on the church website - I'm the one that's dated 15 July - Youth service.

On with the week, 2 days to go...

5 days to go!!

You're lucky I haven't started to tell you about my count down before now! If you don't know whats going on, I'm balatantly going to tell you in the next sentence! It's my birthday on wednesday and I've got lots of things planned, so that I don't have to think about turning 23!

I'm definitely going home and getting a job somewhere, I quite like working in the coffee shop, so I migh give that a go. If not I'm already signed up to an agency, so I'll see if I can get some work from them. It's full steam ahead, and I've also been given the go ahead to move my room around and get a new bed! Just got to pack everything up...

Leaving somewhere is always a difficult thing to do, I haven't really given it much thought. I'm still really getting over the other two major things in my life - leaving uni and leaving Henry. Still two weeks and I will be taking my last trip from Bristol to Essex, hopefully with a friend or two to keep me company!

Back to work...it's been an interesting day. I've got a talk to finish.

Football!!

The winning team!! St Mikes Youth FC thrashed St Michaels Church FC, 3-1 on Friday evening. It was part of our RE:fresh 'Night With A Difference'. A brilliant game, and of course, bragging rights are ours until the next match!

The rest of the weekend has been good fun, I spent Saturday wandering around Cheltenham, looking at what had changed and spending money, for various birthdays. I watched a young Harry make his way towards his first meeting with you-know-who (and if you don't know, where have you been?) and then watch the making of the new Potter movie.

Sunday was a regular day. I've started to say goodbye to people now, and preparations are being made for my leaving tea in a few weeks.

Today I have seen my parents, before they jet off to Scilly for two weeks!! They dropped off a couple of books and a present for me. It's nine days til my 23rd birthday. Yeay! (Also nine days til I see Harry potter with some of the girls.) I've been working on the sng books for most of the day and they are almost finished!!

Bloggers back log...

It doesn't seem to be loading properly...but when has blogging ever been easy?

I also haven't blogged for a week, I'm almost certain the lack of posts has everything to do with having only one computer in the office that connects the internet, and even then it doesn't do it very well!

So what's happened... I finished the song books and realised two glaringly obvious mistakes during the weekend, which are going to be fixed before I forget what was wrong. The weekend itself went very well, other than Saturday morning, which was spent in tears - lack of sleep plus harsh reality often equates to me crying. The rest of the time in the Shephard's buildings was really good, it went without a hitch. We got home on Sunday and headed to The Mix shortly after. The Mix is ok at the moment, the worship was good, time to chill, feeling absolutely at peace, with all this noise going on around me is awesome.

Since then the rest of the week has gone well, I'm trying to write my talk for the Youth Service in a week and a half. Despite having a theology degree I still struggle with doing talks. I've not been to vicar college, just regular university.

I'm slowly starting to realise the enormity of how things have changed for me since September, the date for the wedding is fast approaching, and where I should be up to my eye balls in preparation, I've replaced it with application forms and song books. For those of you who know me, you'll know that I haven't talked about it a lot. Truth is I'm still trying to get my head around it all. I know I've done the right thing, that I'm not supposed to be getting married, but 7 months on from splitting up with Henry, I'm still thinking about it all.

Umm... moving on, otherwise I'll cry (again), I've filled out two application forms for jobs in Essex. They are both for youth work jobs, both with training, but in two different areas of the profession. Continue to pray.

Once again...

I'm going to moan, about Radio 1. They are still going on about Glastonbury! Argh!

Though having said all of that, the tennis has started (yeay!), but on Monday, John MacEnroe (yes, I had to check how his name was spelt!) was talking about the Concert for Diana, which happens this Sunday, for absolutely ages! (boo!) There's a right time and place to discuss such things, during a tennis match is not one!!

The other thing was the coverage of Paris Hilton emerging out of prison earlier this week. I thought I'd escape it if I watched BBC news - but no - there she was, strutting out of prison! As you can tell I don't enjoy the obsession with celebrities who think breaking the law is the best way of getting some publicity. I'd hate to ask 'what's next?'...

Today, I almost finished the songbooks (both music and words) for St Mike's Youth. Looking forward to taking them on the SAP weekend away. They look really good, and I hope they'll last for a while. Just have to put one more page in the words edition and it will be done - but as with all these things it will continue to grow!

We get our t-shirts for the weekend this evening. They're black and orange! I'm really getting excited about the whole thing now...

Making a tough decision...

Some thoughts while I''ve got some time to myself.

I've decided, with encouragement, to stop searching for jobs that don't suit me. Namely youth ministry jobs. It's been a tough decision to make, as it means leaving what I know and heading home to take time out. I say 'with encouragement' because everyone I have spoken to recognises that God doesn't always speak clearly or loudly in words. The people around me right now understand that a job maybe the end of me, rather than the beginning of God's work in me.

So for those of you who live in the east of the country, be aware, I'm moving home. Another decision that wasn't taken lightly. I'm almost 23 (18 July - I expect gifts!) so it's going to be interesting to be living at home again, after being away for what feels like forever. Thankfully again, I have a great family, who will support me, and friends who will be encouraging.

And finally, what next? There are so many doors to test, and see which one God wants me to walk through. I know I have people praying for me and I'm praying myself, trying not to shut out what God is saying.

I've only got a month left in Bristol and it's starting to dawn on me that my time here (in this beautiful place, full of God's love) is coming to an end.

Pray for those who have a busy week, for those who are heading to Telford for the Student Age Pastorate Weekend away (all 20 of us!), for those who are coping with difficult situations and for all who are seeking God in life, every day.

Second time lucky...

Whay! It's taken me ages, but I finally got it sorted!

In the search of...

...a free computer with a good internet connection!

I was going to blog yesterday, but the connection in our office is having some serious doubts about existing at the moment.

I was also going to show you my posters that I keep harping on about, but that doesn't want to work either!!

Back to song books and emails...

Life is moving on....

Now I think I'm free to say what I like about jobs and job interviews. I've mainly been going for jobs that are ministry based, with young people. Needless to say I am not jumping up and down with excitement about it all. I want to do youth or student work, but I'm not sure I should be doing ministry any more. I'm having a lot of very searching conversations asked of me right now, all of which I think are incredibly valid.

So keep praying for me, it's not that I lack direction, its something else...doors are closing, but I don't feel any are opening.

As for the rest of the week, my brain has been plodding along, getting things done. The posters for the Big Day Out are done and will shortly be put up, in time for everyone to go 'what's this then?' I'm also busy sorting out the St Mike's Youth Song Books for future use! It's exciting to tax my brain with problems to do with putting something together that's going to be used for a long time (hopefully) to come!! I think I may have reached new levels of geekness with my knowledge of photocopiers!!

Advertising!

I have spent the day doing posters and flyers for various events happening in July. It's very exciting to see everything we've planned in words and pictures, and the good news is that we get to have A3 posters very soon.

I'm not going to say too much about yesterday, you can ask if you want. I enjoyed it. I really like Herne Bay and the surrounding area, its great if you want a bit of beach and some sun (except for when it rains and you're eating ice cream!). So now I'm back in Bristol, waiting for a phone call...

Back to those flyers...

Interviews!

I'm in that kind of place again. It's 2 days until my interview at Herne Bay and once again, I'm not quite sure how I feel about it all. That's all really... I'm trusting that God knows what he's doing! I lack confidence with these things, I have done for a while, well since I was 16 really.

I got quite upset about the stabbing in Luton, I don't know why I did, I guess I was a little scared for Karen. Still, she doesn't live in the town centre anymore, so I guess, like she says, she feels safe. Still its a shock to hear bad news from a place you're connected to.

That Friday feeling...

Yes...it's the weekend, almost...

I have now exhausted my options for getting my laptop back. So now I can start to panic a bit.

Twice this week I have been into St Michael's pre-school to read a story about Jesus helping people and I have totally enjoyed it. I'd forgotten all about the joys of under-fives! They are just constantly asking questions - who are you? What do you do? Are you going to Disneyland this summer? (seriously!)

Anyway...on to the weekend...no RE:fresh tonight :( because the boys are on the Youth Alpha weekend away. I'm praying for them...

So it's been a while!

Sorry for the lack of posts recently...there have been a number of things keeping my away from the internet. Namely not having a laptop to just switch on and browse. Yes the stupid thing that has upset me, which is entirely my own fault, was me leaving my laptop on the train last Sunday. I couldn't believe what I'd done, and i'm still waiting for ten days to roll around so I can phone the train company that might have it.

Strangely I feel at peace about the whole thing. I think its probably because I haven't exhausted all of my options just yet, so I'm not as panicky as I could be, and I have most of it backed up...so I've not lost a huge amount of files.

Still keep praying for everything. From job interviews - one on the 14th and another on 25th, both in Kent, to everything that is going on in the final term of the year...

P.S. (a real one this time) I'm ill again, stuff keeps living in my throat and making me feel awful!

Being at home...

I've been at home since Sunday and tbh I haven't done a lot. I've slept, seen a few friends and stayed with my sister for two nights in Luton. I've met her babies too! They're simulation children, so they cry, get hungry, get cold and properly scream if you do anything to neglect or harm them. Very realistic, and once you hold one the instinct is to treat it like a real child. It's all part of teaching teenagers the responsibility of parenting when they are young. The lady Karen lent them out to was doing Romance Academy with her teenagers...

Today I have watched my brother play on an Xbox360 game called F.E.A.R. so I've spent the morning getting scared by a computer game...the less I talk about it the better. later on we're going shopping and then eating lots of food at my Nan's.

I have really enjoyed my week so far, it didn't get off to a great start, but its getting better. Tomorrow I'm going to hopefully see where I'm going for an interview in a few weeks time. Then on Saturday its back to Bristol for the last leg of the year... :(

It has been busy...

Lots going on, so just a quick one.

I went for a job interview and didn't get it. Wise words from those around me assure me that God's got better things planned for me.

I helped out on Saturday at Wiz's wedding, and thoroughly enjoyed the whole day. I was exhausted though!

I traveled home on Sunday and did something stupid...more about that at some point...

And today I cleared out my room, with the help of my sister (yes, we share)...and it feels great!

I'm off to Luton...

Radio 1

They just love it don't they - themselves I mean. I've been listening to it all of a good week now, and the music is good (keeps me up to date with pop culture) but they do have a tendency of drawing things out. The Big Weekend happened and they are still harping on about it. Now if you weren't there, or don't know anything about it, it gets a little sickening after 2 days of hearing the same live sets. Which is part of the reason why I love local radio, the music ins't just from the top ten - it spans decades usually (which leaves some people going 'eh, whats this trash?') and they don't harp on about things for days after.

Forgive me for ranting, I love music, don't get me wrong, its a great medium for getting people together, always, but do our musical achievements need to be talked about forever? (Jo Wiley on stage with the Fray (who are awesome))

How's everyone feeling about the current series of Doctor Who? Is it good, bad or just ugly?
I'm enjoying it, I've always said I'm more frightened of the 'human sized' monsters than the CGI monsters - just because the graphics are a little lacking somehow. I've also been watching confidential afterwards, which is a brilliant insight into the world of The Doctor. This weeks episode had me on the edge of my seat!